Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Thanks Justin!

Justin Piehowski at MinnPost posted a nice story about this blog today in his column today.

Please go read it - unless you came here from there, in which case, WELCOME!

And again, to all of you, Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah!

Ron

Christmas Eve

It's our first Christmas with Galyna, obviously. The highlight for her so far is the Christmas tree. We were able to find an acceptable one this past Sunday at Home Depot of all places. The selection was slim, but that's what you get when you spend the bulk of your time since late November in Ukraine. She and her sisters decorated the tree up nicely, and now the presents are starting to appear. With all the snow, it finally feels like Christmas too!

Frankly, with the focus in Ukraine being on the adoption, we missed all the ramp-up to Christmas. It's the strangest feeling Christmas I've been a part of in that until this week, I've barely given it a thought.

It should be fun to watch Galya open presents that are FOR HER! I can't imagine she's had many opportunities in the past. Everything is so very new, and adopting in the holiday season accentuates the newness of everything. It makes cramming in last-minute Christmas shopping worth it.

One of our challenges will be the time with family. This is not to say we don't want to introduce Galya to the broader family; on the contrary, we obviously do. But adoption advice we were given by multiple adoption "professionals" was to keep things low-key in the first few months so the child doesn't end up not knowing who he/she is bonding with, or so the child doesn't end up not bonding altogether. Low-key is impossible at this time of year. We'll be trying to manage it carefully. As we found on the way home from Kiev, Galya is willing to latch onto anyone being nice to her. That is fine to a point, but if it ends up causing problems with integrating our family...well, you can imagine we don't want to take that on. So balance in all things is key.

On the plus side, she ate all her veggies at dinner last night, even declaring them "num-num." I take that as a good sign having cooked said dinner. She's also picked up a couple of words in English. She can count to ten, say "hello" and "good morning" in the proper contexts. She still parrots more than actually uses words, but I can see signs she's working on it.

At daycare yesterday (which she handled with aplomb) the Russian-speaking son of the daycare provider did find out Galyna knows what school is, and so won't be surprised in January when we take her there. She also got to go sledding and ice skating. She'll be a natural-born Minnesotan in no time!

That's the update. Today is another chance to learn about this new family dynamic and our newest daughter, as well as for her to start meeting more family. We'll see how it goes, and as always pray it goes well.

For you and yours, I wish you a very Merry Christmas. As much as we are focusing on Galyna, Tierney and Amissa, this time of year is about remembering and celebrating another child and why he was born. Enjoy the season, the family and the traditions. But remember first the real reason of Christmas.

God bless,
Ron

Monday, December 22, 2008

Galya's Tale

This is a story pieced together from informal sources. Much of what we know about Galya's background is hearsay at best, although from divergent sources so to some extent we feel like this story is fairly close to the truth. What we know for sure is stated, and what we do not know will be noted as such.


We do know, from her birth certificate, that Galyna Oleksiyivna Skora was born July 19, 2002 and abandoned at the hospital by her birth mother. From court documentation, we also know that her biological mother was a minor (we heard 17) at the time. According to verbal testimony, she is the daughter of a well-off family in the region, and did not want her family, especially her grandfather, to know about Galyna. Galyna was unplanned, unwanted and abandoned because her birth mother did not want to upset her family. A request was made to the court that everything be kept from Galyna's mother's family. Other than their names, we do not know any more than this about Galyna's birth parents.

***

Our church has been sending mission teams to Donetsk, Ukraine, for a number of years. We primarily go to serve at Donetsk Christian University (DCU) in teaching English, and at The Good Shepherd Shelter. In the summer of 2006, one of the children at the Good Shepherd shelter was a little girl named Galyna Skora. She had been brought to the shelter after being taken away from her guardian. That same summer, the team from Grace Church made the usual visits to the Shelter.

***

Galyna was placed with a guardian after her abandonment. The undocumented story is that Galyna was, at approximately three years of age, left for reasons of punishment, in a shed with a number of animals. She was too young to defend herself and she sustained bites from rats and possibly other animals. These bites left scars over much of her body, and required grafts on her head which now leave over half of her head uncovered by hair. She is missing a fingernail on one finger, which also has a mis-aligned knuckle so the finger tip is at an angle to the rest of her finger. Galyna spent, we were told, a year in the hospital receiving medical care for her injuries. Medical care in Ukraine is not up to the standards of that here in the States, and when we look at her we see little to indicate the cosmetic reconstruction attempted, if any, was done with the care that would have been provided here. We try to be fair to the physicians who treated her, but Galyna is a deeply scarred little girl.

***

While the team from Grace Church was at the shelter, they met Galya. She was smiling, happy and friendly. Among the many children, she especially touched their hearts. As children coming to the shelter have their heads shaved (to keep lice, etc...out of the shelter) she had even less hair than she does now. But she had her smile. Team member Tina Coleman, especially, fell in love with Galya on the spot.

***

Gib and Tina Coleman are friends from church. Their children, all grown, have families of their own. Tina would have adopted Galyna herself had she been able to. Tina brought the story back hoping that one of her children would want to adopt Galyna, but barring that, that a family from the church would be so touched as to pursue adoption of this little sweetheart. Fully loaded with pictures and Galya's story as Tina knew it to that time, she brought Galyna up to a number of people at the church asking them to pray that Galyna would find the family she needed.

***

There is a reason that when you search on "Ukraine" in Google that the sponsored links are for Ukrainian brides and the like. Ukrainian women tend toward the beautiful. Appearance is prized. In last summer's English Intensive, members of our team heard from a young woman who said they eat little to stay thin to "look good for their husbands." Dress is much less conservative than in the States. Clothing, while expensive, is carefully maintained and chosen to highlight sex appeal. In such a culture Galyna had no future. We heard from many there that she faced a future on the edges of society, a bad place to be and rife with poverty and abuse.

***

Shannon and I heard Galyna's story at different times, but both from Tina. We started thinking about it without first talking to each other. When I came to the conclusion that we should look into the possibility, I asked Shannon what she was thinking. Her response was that she was thinking as I was. So we started taking the steps of looking into what it would take to adopt a foreign orphan - and oh did we start to pray.

***

I first went to Ukraine in the summer of 2007. I had no plans to visit Galyna, who'd been moved to the public orphanage by then. Children could not be adopted from the Shelter, so her move to the orphanage was necessary if not necessarily to a better place. (This isn't saying anything about the orphanage, which we think has done well by Galyna; rather, it is a testimony to the love and grace exhibited at the Shelter.) Our team would be working with the kids at Good Shepherd. Of course, Tina wasn't going to let the opportunity pass, so she set up a side visit. I first met her that summer on one morning in the orphanage director's office. We went with Olga Z. to translate (yes, Olga appears in many places in the DCU/Galyna story!) and found out that the next week was her birthday. So of course we returned with a birthday gift the next week. We took pictures and video, did a craft together and talked. The picture she drew for me that day still hangs on our refrigerator, next to the pictures and story Tina first brought back in 2006.

***

At the English Intensive in 2007 was another American, a young lady named Shauna. Shauna was helping at the Intensive, and through casual conversation we found that her parents had recently completed an adoption. While staying at DCU. And using the services of Angelina as a facilitator. She gave us Angelina's phone number, and we were able to arrange a meeting where Angelina walked us through the process and documents we'd have to submit. I came to Ukraine with no plans to even meet Galya, and I both met her and learned a great deal about what we'd need to do to adopt her. See, this is why we pray! This past summer, I visited Galya in the orphanage again, this time with Angelina. She was much the same, a little taller and a little less shy, but still smiling.

***

According to Ukrainian law, a child must be adoptable within the country, to Ukrainians, for one year before being adoptable by foreigners. We thought the clock was ticking from the time she went to the orphanage. After a few months and a letter to the Ukrainian government, we found that our inquiry had revealed that Galya's mother had never formally been deprived of her parental rights. This was done in May, 2007, so Galyna was not adoptable to us until June 2008. Our initial hopes of adopting her in the spring of this year were put by the wayside. Numerous glitches (mostly by other parties, a few by us) in the paperwork led to a delay in getting the full dossier into the Ukrainian government until this fall. The day it was submitted, finally, we found we had three weeks to be in Ukraine for the initial hearing. A long time waiting for a very short time to get things done. God's timing is rarely clear, but as always it worked out for the best.

***

Last spring we heard from Angelina that an Italian charity had paid for additional surgeries for Galyna to restore some of her hair. She spent a month in the hospital after two surgeries. I notice no difference from when I saw her the year before the surgeries. Her surgeon said she'd need more to see results, maybe up to 6-7 surgeries in total. The next round was due to start this fall, about the time we brought her into the family. Perhaps the timing was to allow for the next surgeries to be done here? We also heard that two families were given the chance to adopt her this summer (while our paperwork was dragging) but both refused when they found out about her scarring. Much went on in the past two years, but all of it ended where we wanted: with Galyna in our family.

***

It is impossible not to be touched by Galya's story. One of the jurors in our adoption hearing showed a look of disgust and disbelief when told of Galyna's treatment that summed up my feelings perfectly. We don't understand how anyone could abandon a child, or how anyone could neglect or abuse a child. Galya's guardian, we were told, is criminally responsible for her actions in her treatment of Galyna but she is not in prison. It's not our place to judge another culture or system. Nor do we believe we'll know the "why" behind Galyna's treatment. But we know that for all the ill it brought her, it also brought her to us. While we do not know the "why" behind her coming into our family, we do believe that someday this is a "why" we will be able to answer.

***

Galya will need to have some additional surgeries to try and "fix" her scarring. I won't post pictures of her scars as we have no desire to (a) play the martyr/hero family, or (b) play off sympathy for Galyna. We adopted her because she needed a family and we want her in our family. We did not adopt her to play up her story or to make us look special; we aren't. We don't feel that way, and we know there are others who would have done the same thing. But we do love her, and to the extent medical treatment can help her live a better, fuller life, we'll do what we can to help. We are looking into what kind of surgery options are available, and how to best schedule and fund the needed treatment. We also know that she will need therapy of many sorts, as do many adopted children, to deal with the long-term, if not yet symptomatic, effects of abandonment, neglect and abuse. This blog and this adoption are not to garner sympathy, attention, publicity or money for any of those things. But many of you have asked for, and been interested in her story. This is all part and parcel of what brought this girl into our lives, so I share it for that reason. And feel free to pray for where God wants this to go next. Ask questions without guilt; we're okay with explaining the hold she has on us.

***

Grace Church started going to Ukraine in partnership with DCU. Without DCU, we would not have met Galya. Her story would never have made it back here; at the very least, it is likely we would not have heard of her. DCU, therefore, holds a dear place in our hearts, as does the Good Shepherd Shelter. Without DCU I would not have met Shauna, nor been introduced to Angelina. I'd not have met Galyna three times in two summers. Without Grace Church we'd not have met Tina and Gib, nor been to DCU. And without the many friends and family (i.e., YOU!) supporting us, none of this would have happened. I'm convinced everything happens for a reason. This episode confirms that again for me. Many bad things, many bureaucratic things, many coincidental things, many good things and many blessed things happened, in a certain way to lead to this moment. For that we give God the credit and the glory. Without Him, our family would still be four happy and content people who love each other very much. But it wouldn't be the same.

Thanks, and God bless!

Ron

Picking up where I left off...

Thursday
Flight to America day! Otherwise known as the day that wouldn't end. Since a normal day last 24 hours, and we spent about 32 hours in Thursday's date, it felt long. Visa in hand (hooray!) we went to the airport. We think our driver was glad to get rid of us and our abundance of luggage, but he got us to the airport in plenty of time to make our first line of the day. We had to go through (a) passport check/security, (b) ticket agent for boarding pass, (c) immigration/passport control and (d) passport check with boarding passes to board. That was just to get out of Kiev! And it took us nigh on two hours, but we made the flight.

This was, again, a day of firsts for Galyna. She enjoyed the first airline trip, laughing and cheering when we took off. She also liked the headphones and iPods, spending most of the flight listening to music, coloring and playing with the Russian-speaking boy in the seat behind us. We think at one point she wanted to join his family as we caught her hugging the boy's mom quite a bit. Not sure if it was attachment disorder, the fact that the family spoke her language, or the fact that we were telling her no desert until she ate more of her meals. That last one may have been a bit unfair considering the quality of the airline's food offerings. Which, while tolerable for the most part, did cause problems for Amissa when the only only dinner option was pizza and cake, neither of which she can eat with her wheat/yeast intolerances. (Nothing against Delta's service; for the most part it was very good. The food and a lack of communication about the delay at JFK being the two exceptions.) Fortunately, well-stocked with granola bars and "relatively" healthy snacks we made it to JFK in New York with few incidents.

(Except for the immigration officer having us step aside for a bit while he consulted someone on Galyna's passport in Kiev, but he allowed us through after a short delay, no further questions asked.)

JFK was an interesting experience. We had a small dinner at the airport at a restaurant I won't name for their too-high cost for what you got. Then we waited. And waited. Our plane didn't arrive at the gate until well after it was supposed to have lifted off for Minneapolis. Amissa ended up falling asleep, and Galya played with the little boy from the first flight and his family (who were sharing our gate area for their flight.) We finally got on the plane, and made it to Minnesota around 1:00 Friday morning. There was one short time where Galya was crying in her sleep on the plane, but I put the iPod on "children's music" and put that in her ears, and she was fine the rest of the flight. The other two girls slept, as did Shannon and I for a very short time. All in all we landed after 24-26 hours of nothing more than a couple of cat naps. But we were home! The Coleman and Glirbas families met us at the airport with signs and balloons, then helped us home with the luggage. Our cars and expanded family mean we'll be packing much more lightly for trips. This isn't a bad thing, and considering Shan's aversion to minivans, we'll likely be in these cars for a while.

Off to sleep, and then...

Friday
We awoke, pretty much later than usual but earlier than we needed to. Galyna spent the day exploring the house and running back to us for hugs every little while. It was a good day. The girls went to school in the afternoon to see their classmates before Christmas break. Amissa's class screamed in joy when she showed up. Tierney's class was in art, so she wasn't able to introduce Galyna, but it was good to see her friends. Galyna was apprehensive when her sisters were dropped off, but overall in good spirits. Nice to see her loving her sisters. When Shannon started getting ready to go to the school to get the girls, Galya saw her and started asking what was up. As soon as Shannon said the names Tierney and Amissa, Galyna jumped up to get her jacket and boots to get her sisters too! The rest of the evening was dinner and cuddles on the couch as nobody had much energy for anything else.

The Weekend
Saturday was errands and playing. Shannon and I did some unpacking and cleaning (full disclosure: Shan did more than I did). It snowed, which the girls liked. For the ... well for every meal to date, Galya indicated she wasn't going to eat everything on her plate, not liking vegetables. She's finding out she doesn't get to negotiate her dinner choices, or how many bites she has to eat to get a snack later. If anyone has tips on getting a youngster to eat vegetables, let us know. Since Tierney and Amissa love veggies, this is new territory for us. On the other hand, Galya at least doesn't argue. She just doesn't eat it knowing there's no candy later. She does like meat, cereal, potatos, bread/butter and bananas though. That much we do know!

Sunday we went to church, and she was again introduced by her proud sisters. Galyna made it through two hours of Sunday School without us there, so it seems that she's able to hang with her sisters for some amount of time without us. This is VERY good, although it doesn't yet get us to the point of her lasting a full school day yet. It was also good to see so many of YOU who read this blog and let you meet Galya in person. Not to mention the joy of hearing a service in English.

We're going to be working with the daycare provider tomorrow as her son (a 4th-year Russian student at the U of Chicago) will be there to help. We want to see if he can help explain the concept of school, and that just because we won't be there doesn't mean we won't be picking her up. It's got to be so very hard on Galyna not understanding everything yet; we can sympathize as we don't either. But she, like her sisters, has proven to be a trooper. We also picked up a Christmas tree, to her delight, which will be decorated today.

There have been a few mishaps, as we've had to work through the idea that makeup isn't for chewing on or dumping on the floor, and ownership of some toys is yet unclear. But overall her adapting to the family, and vice versa, is as good as we could have expeted in the first few days. Our prayer is it goes as well in the coming months.

***


As a heads-up, this will be the last of the "daily recap" types of posts. From here on out I'll be blogging here more about milestones. If you're on Facebook, or subscribe to updates from this blog (via RSS or something similar) you'll get notices. Otherwise, check back from time to time. I'll also update my other blog when I update things here. Posts will probably still be frequent through the holidays, but start to taper off as we get into more of a routine.

If you have any questions about how things are going, or what we're up to though, feel free to drop us a line. Or better yet, subscribe to one of the blogs or become my Facebook friend!

God bless,
Ron

Saturday, December 20, 2008

So How've You Been?

Long time no blog, though readers of my normal blog wouldn't be surprised if they've been paying attention over the last year. It's been an interesting and fun, albeit busy week. In review:

Tuesday
I think I left off with Tuesday (aside from the note that we arrived home.) If not, call me on it in the comments and I'll fix the problem. Tuesday did have a bit more detail than I posted then. The day started with doing some packing while waiting for Angelina to call. She did eventually, and picked me up to sign some papers. We went first to the courthouse, where she picked up the court decree. From there to the orphanage, where I had to sign two documents. For two signatures, I'd been gone nearly 90 minutes. Yep, this was going to be fun!

We left Makeevka, and on the way to Donetsk for some more paperwork I called Shannon to let her know that we'd be ready and back to the apartment by 3:00 to go pick up Galya. Angelina wouldn't be with us, but we told the orphanage folks while we were there what the plan was. In Donetsk, we went into a freezing building (side note: in Ukraine, apparently they will choose to do some heating water pipe repair when it's cold out) to get Galya's new birth certificate. This was another long wait, but I did get to do the signature thing so I felt like I was at least contributing. Then we headed off to one last errand - the passport. Unfortunately, the passport office was closed until 2:00 for the lunch break, so we stopped at McDonald's to kill some time and grab a bite to eat.

At two, we were able to get to the passport office, and by 2:30 we had everything the Ukrainian government owed us. Yippee! Angelina dropped me by the bus stop where the girls were going to meet me for the marshutka ride to the orphanage. She was going to go fax the passport page copy to the U.S. embassy so we'd be okay to get a visa interview on Wednesday.

Tuesday, Angelina proved her worth in all of these stops. Conversations in the past few days showed that many adoptive families can wait up to two weeks to get the passport. We got ours the day the court decree became official. It helps when the person you hired knows everyone and everything about the process. If you're ever considering adopting in Ukraine, let me know and I'll get you in touch with her.

So...as I said, it was cold. Even for us Minnesotans it was a bit chilly, and the marshutkas were running very full. There wasn't room for us on the first handful that went by while we waited, so we were all very glad when one came by with space.

And this brings us to the orphanage. I'll bet you're all expecting a big dramatic moment, tear-jerking narrative and emotional broadsides. We were too. It was nothing like that. In the dictionary next to anticlimactic you see a picture of Galya leaving the orphanage. After all these months (years, really) of time since we first heard of Galyna, the moment felt oddly normal. I'm guessing that seeing kids adopted out of the orphanage before made this something rather standard, but it was a surprisingly low-key event.

We went in and Julia, the social worker for whom I'd signed papers earlier in the day, was coincidentally by the door talking to someone else. She pointed up to where Galya was, and we walked up there to get her. She saw us, and apparently knew what we were there to do as she stopped her studies (yeah, we picked her up mid-school day) and grabbed the entirety of her earthly possesions: five little notebooks worth all of about $.30 that we'd picked up for her on the various Amstor stops. Not even a toothbrush. We brought some clothes with us, but she did walk out with a t-shirt and some tights that she was wearing that day.

I've never felt so unbelievably blessed and humbled to live in this country, by the way.

She said goodbye to her class, and a couple of the kids gave her hugs. Some of the teachers too, but it was "business as usual" for most of them. They all said goodbye and went back to their tasks. Two of the girls did seem excited that she was going to "America!" which I'd think is a big deal considering what we suspect they think about our country - that we're wealthy and far away from problems. One of two isn't bad. I for one will never complain about being poor compared to anyone here. Being firmly middle class in this country is being in the wealthiest population on the planet.

So we left, after a few hugs and two classrooms saying goodbyes, but it was the oddest departure I've known. There's been more emotion and hubub when someone leaves the place I work. But we walked back to the marshutka for the ride home. Galya was absolutely giddy, and happy. This was a good sign. We were able to get to the apartment in time for me to get the blog post out, and finish dinner before heading to the train station. We caught the train, Angelina and Shannon in one compartment, the girls and I in the other. The girls slept better on this train trip than on the first, but we still awoke in Kiev tired and unwashed. The train was about 80 degrees all night, which was okay, but a bit warmish for what we're used to. The highlight for the girls, I think, was eating some dried octopus snack thing that Angelina ordered from the attendant.

Wednesday
This post is overly long already, but I'll give Wednesday a go. Maybe I'll catch up the rest of the week tomorrow:)

We went from the train station to an international clinic which provides medical exams for children being adopted. Their report is part of the package of papers we needed to bring to the embassy in the hopes of getting the visa. We were there early, as the clinic didn't open until 9:00 and we'd come right from the train at 7:30. The girls hung out and colored in the hallway, and us adults tried to stay awake. The exam went well, and the doctor was about crying when she thanked Shannon for "adopting this little girl." Seems hard for many Ukrainians to understand the motive to help someone in this type of circumstance.

We went from the clinic to the embassy to drop off our last documents, and to confirm the visa appointment. As we'd sent ahead the documentation necessary to do the background check with Washington D.C., we were hoping that we could get the visa Wednesday. Even so, we weren't sure as nothing on the trip was really easy to predict. The visa interview was at 2:00, and we dropped off the paperwork by about 11:00, so we went to a little cafe to have lunch. It's interesting finding out about Galya's eating habits. She won't starve in our house, but she won't necessarily enjoy all our meals. We have yet to find a non-potato vegetable that she likes, and we eat lots of veggies. Let's hope she grows to love broccoli.

The visa interview was quick, and best of all they said they'd gotten the paperwork in time to do the background check - we got the visa the same day! This happens often, we gathered, but it isn't guaranteed. We were very glad to have our tax dollars going to something that the government does well!

This meant, too, that we were finally ready to hit the apartment. We were put up at the same building as the first visit in Kiev, and we went to the same restaurant for dinner as we'd done the first visit too. The girls all got the mashed taters/chicken dinner with the chicken dressed up with vegetables to look like a real chicken. Tierney took a picture, which I'll post in my next photo update. This went over well with Galya, except for (a) the vegetables, and (b) me not letting her drink all her pop until she'd finished her meal. Other than that, it was peachy. An early bedtime for the girls, and repacking for the plane for me, and it was off to the land of nod.

We awoke Thursday, but that's enough for this post.

TTFN,

Ron

Friday, December 19, 2008

We're Home!

And yes, I'm posting this at 2:33 AM Minnesota time. I've pretty much been up ~25-26 hours with a couple of cat naps on planes to chase away the sleepiness. (Note: this did not work well.)

We were able to get the visa in time for everyone to come home together. More tomorrow (er, later today?)

Thanks!

Ron

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

She's Ours! We're Hers!

Today, 12/16/2008 (or 16.12.2008 as the Ukrainians write it), Galyna Skora became Galyna Nicole Stewart.

We have her new birth certificate, her new passport, her new adoption decree - and her! I spent today with Angelina getting her new birth certificate and passport, which involved much waiting. If I haven't said it a million times yet, I haven't said it enough; we'd be nowhere near this point if we hadn't met Angelina. She's literally been her namesake: an angel. She knows everyone in the process, and has been able to move us through very quickly. Some of the other adoptive parents to be we've met haven't been this blessed.

The next steps are:

  1. Overnight train to Kiev

  2. Medical exam in Kiev

  3. Drop off all paperwork at the embassy for Galya's visa

  4. Visa interview

  5. Visa for Galya!

  6. Fly home



We're still not 100% sure we'll have the visa in time to fly out Thursday as a family, but Tierney, Amissa and I will be flying out then for sure. We faxed some paperwork to the embassy already so they could start the background checks, but we won't know how far they get until tomorrow. Pray they'll finish in time that we can get the visa by end of day Wednesday. Also, we want clean exit from Ukraine and clean entry into the U.S., but the immediate concern is the visa.

As an aside, yesterday was a light day of packing and preparing for the trip, followed by the Monday prayer group at the Gingery's (Olga is out of town.) And now I must go help do the last minute packing/cleaning/dinner before the train.

The lack of Internet yesterday means I didn't have the ability to tell her full story yet. And we're leaving in little more than an hour for the train station for the overnight to Kiev. We're staying at the same apartment building as we did last time, which as you may recall lacked Internet access. So in all likelihood, this is my last post here until perhaps Friday. But never fear, I'll not leave the tale unfinished, so do not lose this blog.

Until next time -

Ron - for the FIVE Stewarts!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Organizations

For those of you who aren't familiar with my history with Donetsk, I suppose I should talk about how we came to know about the city. This plays into Galya's story, so background may be helpful.

Shannon and I (with the girls) attend Grace Church in Roseville, Minnesota. Our church has, through the past decade or so (someone from GCR can correct me if I'm wrong) had a partnership with two ministries here in the area: Donetsk Christian University and The Good Shepherd Shelter.

Donetsk Christian University (DCU) is a university with a mission to train up Christian leaders, ministers and missionaries, with a mind especially to support the churches in the former Soviet Union. It was started in 1991, at the time Ukraine became independent of Russia. The history of the university is found here. Pictures are here. It's a good university, with (as far as I can tell) a good reputation. They are facing challenges, and I recommend that the interested keep tabs on their needs and perhaps contribute. No pressure, and they didn't ask me to say it. I'm just a believer in what they're doing here, and I think they do it well. (Better yet, come to teach one of these summers.)

One of the things we do on our trips here is to help DCU with their summer English Intensive program. DCU has a school-year Saturdays program for teaching English as both a marketing and a fundraising tool. It also helps with outreach and community involvement. Every summer they have a four-week "intensive" session where students sit for morning English classes, and then in the afternoons they are turned over to us for a number of activities designed to foster English conversation practice. This involves things like giving us tours (in English) of the city, playing games, one/one conversations, etc. It's a great experience, and if you can't tell by my writing, I enjoy communicating with lots of words. This is, as it turns out, a useful skill here at DCU. The English Intensives are built as two two-week sessions. Grace comes for one of those sessions each year to help with the afternoon and evening English programs.

A photo album from one of the 2007 English Intensive session is here. This would have been the first session, I believe, since we were not here for it. And here's a blog from the team from Asuza Pacific University who was with us here in 2008. Great fun, that was, working with them.

One of the highlights is that we can keep in touch with many of our students, as you may have noticed from this blog. I've had the pleasure of introducing a few of them to the family while we're here, and via email and Facebook (join now! I need more friends!) I'm keeping in touch with friends from both of the past two years, which are the two years I've been able to attend.

By the way, the Olga of whom we've been speaking so highly is highlighted in this story. Lawrence, Colleen, Olga and other teachers are shown here. Sergey is mentioned and shown here. Just thought you may want to put faces to the names we've been giving.

The other part of our work here is to visit the Good Shepherd Shelter in Makeevka. (While the rest of this post is for Rene', the rest of you can read this too.) And I'll get this out of the way up front: Pictures, donations, history. The Riccardellis were here working at Good Shepherd, and have some stories and pictures on their blog too.

I'm not posting that lump o'links to give the shelter short shrift. Actually, I wish I could do more. We haven't been able to visit Good Shepherd while here, although in hindsight we'd have liked to have planned something while the Riccardellis were there. It's one of the highlights of our teams' visits to spend time with the children and encourage the staff. We visit the shelter on some of the mornings and weekend time while here for the DCU English Intensives. We spend time doing crafts and playing games. I'll even bet you didn't know I was fast becoming a beadie-baby expert from these visits. And now I'm not sure that I should have told you...

Some of my favorite memories have been doing tie-dye t-shirts last year, with the accompanying water balloon fight; this year's making of winter hats (which they were wearing for the next few hours in the summer sun); and not being able to go without receiving multiple hugs.

Good Shepherd is not technically an orphanage. Kids staying there either have a parent/guardian who can't/doesn't care for them, or are on a stop on the way to an orphanage. As such, kids from the shelter can't be adopted from the shelter - at least as I understand it. This past summer, Rene' (a member of our team the past few years) was able to bring a number of the older kids to DCU for the English Intensive, so we got some extra social time with them even on campus. Having Dasha join the Grace teenagers in my room watching Pirates on my laptop was fun, for instance.

On a complete tangent, while Googling Good Shepherd Makeevka for potential links for this post, I noticed that this here blog appears on the first page. How's that for heady/prompt service?

I'm a big believer in groups like these; DCU and Good Shepherd do wonderful work, and I'm glad to have some small part in it. And when I'm back in the States I'll try to remember to post some pictures from the past two years so you can see some of what we've done. But beyond the work we've helped with here, these two organizations have a soft spot in my heart because without the two of them we'd never have met Galya.

To that tomorrow. (Or later today; just noticed that for the third night in a row I'm up past 2:00 AM.)

God bless,
Ron

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

So we get to catch our breath before heading to the last stage of the adventure. Today started, as our Sundays here have, with church. Again we didn't do the so much "understanding what was going on" part, but we did sing along with one song we knew, and I think I finally figured out which scripture text they were using. I'm pretty sure it was Psalms something.

From there we hustled downtown to meet two more students from two summers ago. Alyona is a 20-year old blessed enough to be born on New Year's Day. Her mother is exactly my age, having been born the same day I was 38+ years ago. And yes, it still annoys me I'm old enough to be Alyona's father. When I first heard that two years ago, it about knocked me back for three weeks. I'm not ready to start feeling old yet. We had lunch at an Irish pub/restaurant off Lenin Square called Golden Lion. I had the shashlik which was very good. Shannon has promised to make me some shashlik at home; if you want an invite, let me know.

Alyona also gave us a gift, a "piggy" bank in the shape of a cow. Apparently I got to learn my "something new for the day" over lunch: in Ukraine, much like in China, they do "the year of the _____" here. And 2009 is the year of the cow/bull. Interesting. (Alyona's mother - whose name I'm regrettably forgetting; it's on the tip of my tongue if you can see it there) and I were born in the year of the dog. I'm not sure what that explains.)

We returned to the apartment via Amstor/Amctop, laden with some more chocolate (some of which we'll try to keep uneaten so we can give it away back home) and the Barbie-esque dolls the girls wanted. Oh, and some breakfast foods for the train ride to Kiev Tuesday night. Only thing we forgot was water, so we may be brushing our teeth tomorrow in the boiled stuff.

It's starting to feel real, that we'll be leaving soon. I already have the bittersweet feeling I get at the end of the trips I take here. I don't want to leave, but I do want to go home. I think we're all ready to return, but it's been a great time even with all the waiting the Ukrainian system has built into the process.

Shannon has been doing some packing, and I've been thinking about doing some packing. So we're about even on effort. The girls did some homework, and early bed. I've been spending the evening pulling stuff off to the side that I want to pack tomorrow, and trying to find streaming audio of the Vikings game (KFAN says they're not able, and NFL.com charges for it. Fortunately, I can "watch" via espn.com's GameCast feature.)

Tomorrow is up in the air as to what we'll be doing, but mostly we'll be preparing for Tuesday when the fun begins. Not only do we get Galya for good on Tuesday, but we start running yon and hither toward Galya's visa.

'Til next time -
Ron

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Let it Snow!

I hear there's a big storm back home in Minnesota this weekend. Just have the runways cleared by next Thursday please!

Also, if you could get through the below zero temps by the time we return, that'd be just peachy of you.

Speaking of cold, please pray for this situation. Especially since we're heading to Kiev Tuesday night.

Enough about the weather (though I do like the snow here; just a dusting so far, but nice.) You probably want to know the latest on our adventure. Yesterday was a day of ... I can't remember. The days are blurring together nicely by this point. Ah, yes. We hung out at the apartment because Angelina was going to come by to collect the forms we'd been able to fill out so far. Some forms require information from the court decree and/or birth certificates we won't have until Tuesday morning. But we're trying to get things into the embassy early to expedite the visa procurement activities on Wednesday. The embassy needs a hard copy photo of Galya, and a copy of her pre-adoption birth certificate and her passport so they can start the work. We'll bring the rest to them Wednesday morning, then hope for the visa interview and visa in the afternoon. That's the ideal, and we know it can be pulled off. We'll see if there's another purpose, though.

The only downside was Angelina didn't actually call or come by. So, it was a day of catching up on a few things in the apartment, and letting the girls play outside. They need the activity (plus the sleep) but they're still doing very well all things considering. They must get that from their father mother. In the evening, we visited Olga for tea, and had a nice visit. Jim and Margaret, two American missionaries who work at DCU were there. Tanya and Natasha Dyatlik were there too, so it was festive. It was fun to speak to English speakers, although I do like trying to pick up what Russian I can. Margaret heads up the English program we visit in the summers, and so we touched on that. Natasha brought a very delicious pizza, which almost cured my craving for 'za. Have I mentioned I've yet to meet a bad cook here? It's a surprise I always lose weight here - but I think that's due to the walking and exercise...

Olga also taught the girls a new card game, Dutch Blitz. We'll have to pick it up back in the States as they now really like it.

Today we were able to take Galya again, and as hoped for we went downtown Donetsk. We took the marshutka into Makeevka, and had to wait at the orphanage until Galya's hair dried. She'd taken a shower not long before we arrived, and her caregivers didn't want her going out in wet hair. We, of course, thought it was dry, but couldn't argue the point so we hung out for a short while. We eventually were given leave to take Galya, and we went via marshutka to Donetsk. This involved a trip through a neighborhood, off course, because of traffic. Basically, the driver asked everyone if it was okay, then left the normal route. Or else he just told them he was going to do it; I only assume because a bunch of people said "da" after he said what he said. If you come here, be prepared for mass transit that sometimes drops you off part way to your destination, or changes routes on the fly.

But we did get to Donetsk. The first stop was near the market, which we walked through rather quickly. We were hungry, and the girls needed to use the little girls' room. So we hopped a train which dropped us off right in front of Puzata Hata. Yeah us! The servers eventually got our orders, which was funny considering all we had to do was point at the food. Apparently that wasn't good enough to get the point across the first time. From the restaurant we went to Lenin Square so the girls could ride the pedal cars again. Tierney will miss those I think. Then off to Pushkin Boulevard so the girls could play on a playground. While they did that, I watched them and Shannon went to a souvenir shop two blocks over. We're bringing a few Ukrainian things back for her "gotcha day" (or whatever we end up calling it) celebrations in the future. We don't want her to lose her culture; partly because we think it's important for her to keep it, partly because it gives me reasons to come back.

After Shannon returned, we took the girls over to the same store where they each got to pick out a souvenir if they wanted one. Tierney wants a Ukrainian "Barbie" doll from Amstor (btw, that's spelled Amctop here in Ukraine; I'm just transliterating it for pronunciation purposes) so all she got was a small magnet frame. Galya wanted something she couldn't play with and is getting the "Barbie" doll from Amstor too. Amissa decided she wanted her Christmas gift here, and her souvenir would be - surprise - a "Barbie" from Amstor. Her Christmas gift is, as befits the little clothesphile, a traditional Ukrainian outfit. It will be uber cute and we'll post pictures in the next few days.

Then it was time to come home as it was getting a bit chilly. Galya liked the grilled sausage/cheese sandwiches and corn puffs. Then it was time to take her home. Here I'm glad Shannon didn't come with us. As we were walking to the marshutka stop she was unusually quiet, and I caught her crying softly. Shan probably would have just risked the kidnapping charge and turned right around to bring Galya to the apartment at that point. I think the coming/going is hard on her, and it's catching up. But Tuesday's on the way...we keep telling ourselves that. The coming/going isn't easy on us either.

I came home after dropping her off (by the time we got back to the shelter, she was back to her normal self, although holding my hand a bit more tightly.) It started to snow as I got to my stop. And the girls were watching Tinkerbell again when I got home. They'd done more homework in my absence. Then bedtime for all (except me, who's reverted to extreme night owl status.)

Tomorrow is church, again, and a visit with Alyona, a student from two summers back. That should be fun! And hopefully we'll have enough time tomorrow to get the posts in about DCU and Good Shepherd, leaving Monday for the final special post: Galya's tale itself. Well, that and packing for the Tuesday train ride.

I hope all is well!

God bless,
Ron

Thursday, December 11, 2008

The Ukrainian Twin Cities

We live in a suburb of Minneapolis, which is of course one half of the Twin Cities. In Ukraine we are in the middle of another set of Twin Cities: Donetsk and Makeevka. I'm not sure that they are seen that way, but it's a fair analogy. Knowing a little of these cities helps put the rest of the story in context, so as promised here's a post on our locale. Again, this is more about our impressions, with links for the more intellectually curious.

Donetsk is the big city, capital of the Donetsk region (or oblast.) This'd be similar to an American state or Canadian territory. It is on the eastern edge of Ukraine, not far from the Russian border. As such, and considering its history (see links below), it's not a suprise that it's a heavily Russian-influenced city. It was close to destroyed in WWII, and was rebuilt after the war. A rennaissance of sorts seems to be happening in recent years as Rinat Akhmetov - a rather wealthy and influenial person and Donetsk resident - has been trying to attract things like Euro 2012 to the city. (Mr. Akhmetov runs the local soccer football team, Shakhtar; I went to a game last year when they played Dynamo Kiev and I recommend that if you're going to watch soccer, you do so in Europe. It was fun, and the fans made Packer fans look disinterested. Akhmetov's also built quite the compound right next to DCU, but that's another matter.)

Anyway, Donetsk's urban center is a beautiful place. There is Pushkin Boulevard, a large pedestrian mall with cafes, playgrounds, sculptures, fountains and gardens. I would love such a mall in our city. There is a puplic square, Lenin Square, with an open plaza and more fountains. There are many restaraunts and high-end stores, and much traffic.

Some of the sights we've seen include the Figures Park, Tsar's Cannon and pretty much everything you see here. Chain restaraunts, including McDonald's and our Ukrainian favorite, Puzata Hata. We love downtown. Much to do, interesting architecture and good food.

Once you get out of downtown, though, the neighborhoods are a different story. Residences are primarily in apartment buildings rather than houses. Few people own homes, and most live in flats. The economic condition of this industrial area (Donetsk is a large coal/gas/industrial region) mean much upkeep of buildings is forgone in lieu of more basic needs. Western culture is coming, as demonstrated by the presence of supermarkets and "big box" stores, but there are also small neighborhood markets within walking distance for most people.

There are more cars than there used to be, but public transportation is both cheap and abundant. At least on the major roads. We can take a bus to downtown Donetsk for ~$.10 each person, each way (and kids ride free!) Marshutkas cost little more (~$.30) for a faster ride. Just be prepared to be close to other people as the buses and marshutkas will pack in as many riders as they can. Walking is much more a part of one's daily life here than back in the states.

Makeevka is a different story. Downtown is smaller here, and with far fewer clubs and restaraunts (at least that we saw.) It's a much less kempt city, and more run down in many aspects. While there are signs of new building, Makeevka appears further behind Donetsk. The park we walked a few days back is a good example. The memorial included cracked stonework, and aside from a very nice looking restaraunt, little in the park looked as if it'd been maintained.

Galya's orphanage is in Makeevka, and we don't guess she's been out of Makeevka much. One of the things we're wondering is how she'll react to America, which is much different from her native city. There isn't much for her to do there, at least to American eyes, other than walking about town. The orphanage is clean, comfortable, and relatively nice (not that we're experts on orphanages, but a Dickensian place this is not.) The staff is unfailingly nice and polite, if (as typical of this part of the world) direct. From that perspective, Galya's had it relatively good. But the pollution and unmaintained areas around the orphanage cannot be having a good impact on the health of her or the other children.

I am not trying to criticize either city. To an American, used to a commuting and mass media-consumerist culture, there is a great appeal in the slower pace, the more social pasttimes, and ease of getting around town without a car. I don't prefer everything about Ukraine over everything about America, but there are things here that I wish America'd pick up on. (Also, vice versa; I'm not a fan of the pollution here, or anything goes attitude toward traffic laws.)

Links:

The Final Thursday?

Well, if all goes well, this is our final full Thursday in Ukraine as we'll be flying out one week from today. Or yesterday, as I'm typing this post-midnight Friday. Shannon talked to the folks at the embassy today, and we "should" be able to send up some of the paperwork early, fax the rest next Tuesday morning, then get the medical exam/visa interview/visa on Wednesday. That would enable us all to come home on the Thursday flight. Glitches push Shannon and Galya to later flights.

So, that was positive to hear. It's interesting to hear from a few folks here that the U.S. embassies really do well by American citizens compared to embassies for (some?) other countries. Not knowing that for sure, I have a hard time doubting it after what Shannon was told today.

The day was rather typical in that we hung out at the apartment and took a walk to Victory for provisions. I introduced Kate to the rest of the family, which was nice. Good for them to put faces to names. The two neighbor girls came over and played with the girls, too, which was boisterous and fun up until Amissa and one of the girls pulled down the curtain in the girls' room. Guess we need to pay for some new curtain wire (they don't use curtain rods in this apartment) before we leave! Oops. But she was sufficiently repentent and responsible that it all worked out for her.

Olga Z. came over for dinner, and we talked a while about a few things missions-related (Olga is a Russian citizen, here as a missionary.) It was an interesting conversation and good company. She'll be coming to the States shortly after we are, which was good news for the girls. They've come to really like Olga - which truth be told, is very easy to do!

A few things remain on our docket for the next few days, but we're starting to turn our minds toward preparing to leave. This is both sad and a relief as we'll be glad to see y'all again. But as always, I don't like leaving here. I've told Shannon I feel at home here too, and it's easy for me to be here. That might be different were I to live here permanently, of course, but for now there's a sense of peace about being here that I really like.

The next big day with Galya is this Saturday, we're hoping, and will be another trip downtown.

Until next time -

Ron

Pictures!

Okay, the 'net is working much better today, so more pictures!


  • A day downtown: We took Galya downtown Donetsk, and these are some of the pictures. In my Donetsk post, I'll add pictures of some of the things we saw but neglected to photograph.

  • Court:Unfortunately, as everyone else went home before the judge gave her ruling, we don't have more pictures from this day.

  • Christmas: Or at least a few photos of a Christmas-esque nature.

  • Makeevka: We took Galya for a walk in Makeevka one morning. This is some of what we saw. The day was described here under "Monday."

  • More animals: Tierney's added to her collection of animal pictures. And we've created a LOL Cats monster.

  • Shannon has pictures from Donetsk, Makeevka, and Kiev on her Facebook account too. Some of these will overlap.



Enjoy!

Ron

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Ai Tayks Pikshoors!!!!

Okay, not sure if that's official "LOL Cats" speak, but I think you get the point.

Tierney has been taking pictures of animals wherever we go. She wants to start her own Web site about animals, and has even designed the various categories she wants to use. Some of the pictures have turned out so that she made a couple of LOL Cats out of them.

This is her first: I can haz joos boks. The timing was impeccable as she happened to snap the pic right when the cat was sniffing around the juice box straw.

This her second: Iz nawt impresd. The cats around here are serious.

For more on what LOL Cats are, see here and poke around icanhascheezburger.com.

With the web here being on the slow side tonight (pages are loading in about 5-7 minutes each, some are taking longer and multiple refreshes) I'm not uploading any pictures tonight. For those of you who are friends of Shannon on Facebook, she's posted some new pictures and you can enjoy those. I'll try in the morning.

'til then,

Ron

Around the Day in Eighty DaysMinutes

Due to the girls (yes, I'm blaming them) playing on Barbie's site, and then waiting (patiently, no qualms or complaints!) while my beautiful bride took her turn with Facebook and emails, I'm getting to the blog later than hoped. But that's okay, as it gives me the challenge to see how quickly I can recap the day.

To start, we had a morning on the playground. Well, the girls did. I took Shan on a little walking tour of the "back 40" of the DCU grounds, showing her the greenhouse, volleyball court and soccer field. (Sorry, football field.) We were taking advantage of the cleaning lady's visit to spend time outside. Olga happened by, and introduced us to another Sergey, this one a student and tutor who has aspirations, perhaps, of going into counseling after he graduages next year. He had his charming 14-month old daughter Anna with him, and we took turns giving Sergey some English conversation practice and Anna smiles and waves.

After we were finished on the playground, we headed up to Lawrence and Colleen's where the girls had some hot chocolate. Did I mention the chocolate is good around here? We're bringing some home if customs lets us. And we don't eat it on the plane. I also got to see the wonderful tree trimming and bow-making job the girls did the other night while I was taking Galya back to the orphanage. It was nice to see signs of Christmas as that's really been at the back of our minds with the whirlwind adventure. Shannon said we can take advantage of the Christmas Eve sales when we get back and recovered; last-minute Christmas shopping sans the guilt of procrastination.

Lunch was short 'n sweet, and we adjourned to the laptop to await our ride to the orphanage. Angelina came by, mid-afternoon, and after a stop at Amstor (for cake and pop) we went to the orphanage for the "party." I put party in quotes because it wasn't really so much a party as we were expecting. Galya took us to the three different classrooms, where we left a cake for each group (note: as we'd bought three cakes, it worked out perfectly albeit completely accidentally!) The two older groups set the goodies aside until they finished their lessons and/or dinner depending on the dictates of their particular teacher(s). Galya's class did get to take a study break to eat cake, and they were very polite. They all waited in their desks until the treats were given, then ate only when told to start. I MUST learn their secret. They were enjoying a couple of magic tricks I was doing with a coin and some small pieces of candy, but the laughing got a bit loud and it was made clear we should maybe move to a different area. So we walked the orphanage, Galya giving out candy to everyone she met (after first taking it from me.) She enjoyed this until I told her that the leftovers weren't for her. She kept asking for "odin papa" ("one, daddy") over and over. I'm not sure how the grandpas are going to be able to resist, so it's likely Shannon and the grandmas are going to have to keep 'em in line with this little one.

We also got Ukrainian copies of the paperwork I need to submit for my FMLA, and hopefully we can get them to a translation service. Funny how American benefits management groups aren't often staffed with Ukrainian translators:) Then we came back home and had a light dinner, some of the leftover candy (don't tell Galya) and and bedtime for the girls.

Shannon and I also filled out some of the immigration/visa forms. We're still hoping that goes well and we can all leave next Thursday together, but some of what we see on the embassy site, as well as some of the logistical challenges we have in front of us next Tuesday getting EVERYTHING squared away in Makeevka, leave us uncertain we'll be successful. Shan's calling the embassy tomorrow, and we bought refundable tickets for next Saturday in case there's a brief delay. So Shannon and Galyna both have fully refundable tickets for next Thursday and next Saturday. We should be ready whichever way the good Lord works things out, although if He permits delays past next Saturday we'll have to go to plan C.

I'm still hoping to post some pictures on Facebook, but the dissertation, er post, on Donetsk and Makeevka may be delayed to tomorrow morning. We'll see how I feel after catching up on many things.

As always, thanks for the love/prayers/support/encouragement/etc.

Love ya all!

Ron

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

So You Want More?

Okay! I'm back. I left off with Saturday, right? We'll see how good my memory is regarding the last couple of days. And this is going to be one of those long posts I'm known for. I won't say whether that reputation is good or bad.

Also - we've been getting, on average, 40-45 visits a day to the blog. When I saw that today I figured I'd best not go two days between blogging again! Thanks for your support, prayers and encouragement. I've been reading all the comments, and appreciate them even if I'm not responding to all of them. You all mean much to us!

Sunday
Sunday started with church, again in Russian, here at DCU. It was communion day, and the girls found it interesting to be in a church where communion was "real" bread and wine instead of "crackers" and grape juice. There was no Sunday School, so the girls did get a bit clingy after a while. Church here usually involves two or three sermons, some testimonies, prayer requests and singing between each thing. Services go 1.5-2.5 hours, depending on the church. So it gets a bit long for the girls but I'm sure it's good for them. They did brighten up with the cakes and sweets they had after the service.

With fatigue still an issue from Saturday's adventure, we took it easy with the girls after church. It really was a day of rest, and Shannon was even able to take her 2nd Ukraine nap. The girls and I did some movie watching and that was about it. It's amazing how quickly they're fluxuating between full sleepy-silly mode and worn down mode. But they're still doing very well, and we're proud of them.

Monday
Another busy day. We went to Makeevka by marshutka (first time for the girls!) and went to the orphanage. This is a much cheaper and convenient way to get there than arranging for taxis, so we of course wish we'd have figured this out sooner. When we arrived at the orphanage, Galya was helping sweep the dirt in front of a little pavilion area. We finagled an agreement to take Galya for a walk away from the orphanage (and her sweeping), and went to a little park nearby the orphanage. In this park were a statue dedicated to war heroes, and a fountain (turned off for the winter) as well as the latest in a long line of Ukrainian cats that Tierney has photographed. Tierney did tweak a muscle in her leg when slipping off a wall, but otherwise we returned Galya to the orphanage sans incident. The girls played in the playground area for a while, then Galya went in for lunch.

We figured we should get some food, plus there was an outdoor market in Makeevka I wanted to show the girls. Unfortunately, the market was closed (meaning we walked ~15 minutes each way for nothing other than exercise) and there are no easy-to-find restaurants in Makeevka. So, lunch was some cheese and juice bought in a little convenience store, and some candy. Needless to say, the girls liked it. We spent a bit of time walking around downtown Makeevka, which was interesting as I'd not been downtown Makeevka on my prior visits to Ukraine. It's not the same city as Donetsk, to say the least, but it has its charms. A lack of restaurants for hungry kids, though, meant we had to head back to DCU.

The marshutka ride home was uneventful, although we missed our stop and had an extra bit to walk from the next one (or two?) down. Tired and hungry, we got back to DCU in time for a late lunch/early dinner and more movies. This is the "mom, dad and the lady downstairs need a break from the running around the apartment" event of choice, though we've also played a few family games. The weather was warm, but wet and muddy, so the girls have had to stay in the apartment more than perhaps we'd like.

In the evening, I went to the prayer meeting at Olga's again. The girls stayed home to get rest and all that jazz. It was a good time, highlighted by singing more Christmas carols (one of 'em in four languages!) and eating the best chocolate cake I've had in years. Jim and Margaret, another two Americans who work here at DCU, had just returned from a visit to the States. Jim's a very good cook. Having the prayer meeting at their little home meant good treats, and they were kind enough to let me bring pieces home for the girls.

Tuesday
Today. Or, in a few minutes as I type this, yesterday. Another day of rest. We're in our routine of getting to see Galya every other day, which I think is hard on the girls. They want her to come stay with us, but until the court order becomes official next Tuesday that's not possible. The girls did get to play on the playground, but Tierney fell through a hole and got a bruise on her leg. The playground is nice, and was built by members of our church a number of years ago. It's since fallen into some amount of disrepair, though, and the spot she stepped was missing a couple of boards. It was a lesson in paying attention (for Tierney) and a chance to demonstrate love and compassion for a sister (for Amissa.) That ended the playtime, and they came in for lunch. I took off for Amstor to pick up a couple of groceries, and shortly after I returned we had a light dinner.

(Side note: the food here is very good, although we've surprisingly made it this far without having any cabbage other than what was in our one bowl of borsh in Kiev. The favorites are the sausage, yogurt, bread and chocolate, all of which are better than what we get in the States. The girls haven't been as crazy about the vegetables, and drinking bottled water gets a bit old (fortunately, there's lots of juice and Fanta around.) But the simple diet has been working for them. We've found plenty Amissa can eat, dietary restrictions and all, and God's blessed us all with good health. So far, even the cravings for food we'd normally eat are minimal!)

After dinner, we went downstairs to have tea with Sergey Rybikov and his wife Luba. Sergey is the president of DCU, and we'd had the privilege to host him for dinner at our house earlier this year while he was in America. He remembered Shannon's "tasty" dinner, especially the meat. That was nice to hear:) This was a good time of hearing how things are going at the university, and to share a bit with each other. Olga was there to translate, although Sergey's english is much better than my Russian. We've really enjoyed the hospitality and generosity of those here at DCU.

We came home to get the girls to bed, and then watched a couple episodes of Big Bang Theory on iTunes. Angelina called during this time, and we're working on a couple of things to try and expedite Shannon's trip home with Galya. First we'll try to send a picture of Galya to the embassy by mail so it gets there before Tuesday. That is needed so they can check records for her visa application. If the embassy will accept that to start her file, we can fax the rest of the documents Tuesday before leaving Donetsk and try for a visa interview on Wednesday. We're not sure this will fly with the embassy folks, but it's an idea. The other notion is that we're reserving two refundable tickets for a 12/20 flight for Galya and Shannon. If we can't make 12/18 for the visa, we'll hopefully be able to make 12/20. That's a much better, though still not ideal, option than waiting until 12/25 or later.

We're also going to go to the orphanage tomorrow, and I'll get scans of the documents I need for my FMLA application, as well as (more importantly!) have a party for Galya with the children there. Should be a fun day!

Randomness
That catches us up. I'll try to post three things tomorrow: a recap of the day, pictures, and a blurb on Donetsk and Makeevka. That would leave only a couple more non-recap topics I want to touch on: DCU, Good Shepherd and Galya's story. Which is good because I need to get it all in before we leave for Kiev. We're not sure we'll have Internet there, and I'm not sure we'd have time for that anyway if we're running hither and yon doing visa-related stuff.

The Riccardellis headed out today, and we're hoping we don't have the same problem they did getting out of the country. Basically, their passports were stolen a while back, and the new ones do not have the stamps from their entry into Ukraine. So excitement ensued. But God is good and they made it to Munich okay.

Doing laundry by hand. Brushing teeth with bottled water. Different beds, food, language and culture. No television (though DVDs and a laptop help.) Quieter, slower lifestyle. Strange looks when we get a bit too loud, as Americans sometimes do. I can't say enough about how well the girls have handled this trip. They're even keeping up on homework, and emailing their teachers/classes. There are moments of cabin fever and a bit of stir-crazy once in a while, but I need to brag on the girls. I couldn't be prouder.

Until tomorrow! (Er, later today local time!)

God bless,

Ron

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Busy Day

That was quite the whirlwind. Yesterday was pretty much a hang out and relax day. Today was much, much different.

We picked up Galya at the orphanage at 11:30 and brought her with us away from the orphanage for the day. Andre and Nina drove us to the orphanage, and when we picked up Galya we stopped at Amstor (as our dear driver and his wife needed to do some shopping.) Galya quickly picked up the "Mama" or "Papa" pleas for things, but took the word nyet much better than most American children do. We fear she's heard it before. (Lest you fear, we did get her some things; just not EVERY thing that she was asking for.)

We got back to DCU just in time to run the provisions up to the apartment and walk to the bus stop. As we had plans to be downtown today, I'd let some people know that we'd be there between 1-1:15 (in Lenin Square) and if they could make it, I'd love to see them and introduce the family. Well, since it took a decent amount of time (25 minutes!) for the folks at the orphanage to get Galya for us, and then another 30 minutes at Amstor, and then getting dropped off mid-bus trip because the bus driver decided the route ended halfway to downtown (third time that's happened to me this year here)...well, we got there a little late. Shannon took the girls to McDonald's, and I ran over to Lenin Square to see if anyone had shown up. Andrey Baranov was waiting for me, so he came back to McDonald's and had lunch with us. Galya doesn't seem to like ketchup, so she'll fit in with our family. She did like chicken nuggets and fries though, so we did get some food into her. I also called Neyla, another friend from the past two summers, and she joined us in Lenin Square after lunch.

In Lenin Square, the girls again rode these little pedal cars, and then we went to the playground on Pushkin Boulevard. Here the girls not only played on the playground together, but they also got pony rides on a real live, very old pony! I think we could have called it a day here and it would have been a success. All the while, we continued to chat with Andrey and Neyla. I think there are two things that make me love Donetsk and want to keep coming back: the city itself, with its European center and slower pace of life, and the people I meet at the English Intensives.

Anyhoo, from here Andrey took us to the "figures park" where the girls climbed on statues and we took a few photos. I love this park too, with the fun statues and sculptures for the kids, and benches for tired parents to sit and rest. (Not that we sat and rested; no, too much to do!) Neyla had to leave for a Skype call right before we got to this park, but she promised to meet us at DCU again before we leave. Yay!

From here we walked back toward the main route, and passed by the Tsar's Cannon, which was fun for the girls to play on while hiding from us. The cannon balls were larger than Amissa (though as she pointed out, she was taller than any of them.) Continuing on our ever-longer walk, we ended up at the White Swan mall, which had a Ukrainian equivalent of Chuck E. Cheese called Plastilin (I think.) The girls played a few games, rode some bumper cars and jumped on some trampolines. And we got too few tickets to do anything with, so we held onto them in case we go back.

It was late, and Andrey had to head back. We also had to get back home to eat supper, then return Galya to the orphanage. Did I mention the way back to the arcade was through a toy store? So, after saying nyet a few dozen more times, we were able to leave the White Swan and walk back to the bus stop. Again, the girls were troopers, albeit very tired ones. Along the way, we also passed this church which I've seen numerous times. This time it was dark out, so the church was lit up. It's still one of my favorite church buildings, although I haven't yet braved the Orthodox and stepped inside.

Once home, we had the grilled/open-faced/cheese/sausage sandwiches the girls (and I!) have come to love, corn and boiled potatoes. All but the corn was just wonderful for Galya, but we made her eat most of the corn anyway. Yes, I know, what kinds of parents are pushing veggies on the kid without a break-in "spoiling" period? Galya then said goodbye to the other three ladies of the Stewart clan, and I took her back to the orphanage. We went via marshutka, and since Olga had told me which marshutka to take, I figured I could handle the trip. Which I did, but crowded marshutkas are quite the adventure. But now we also know another way to get to the orphanage for those times Andre's not available to drive us.

I got back home at about the same time as the girls and Shannon, who'd been kindly invited up to Lawrence and Colleen's apartment (our Thanksgiving hosts) to help decorate for Christmas. The girls also got hot chocolate with marshmallows. So it was a good day all around.

For those wondering, we are not yet able to keep Galya overnight as the adoption isn't "official" until our waiting period is over. Tomorrow we will be talking with Angelina about our paperwork translation, and our options for appealing for a shortening of the waiting period. For those of the praying ilk, we'd appreciate that process to go well. Right now things don't look like it'd be feasible for Shannon and Galya to be home until right at Christmas time, or maybe later, but we'll see what miracles are left in this process.

We miss you all, and can't wait to see you. I still have people I'd like to see, so don't mind the extra length of stay, but it'd be nice to be able to get home too. Aside from a couple of cravings to address (pepperoni/green olive/mushroom pizza for me, tacos for Shannon), we'd love to be able to introduce y'all to Galya in person.

Until next time -

Ron

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Court Part Deux

So...I suppose you're all waiting here, wondering what happened today.

Aren't you?

C'mon, I know you are.

Guess I better dish then. Started off with breakfast, and a trip to Amstor. At least I went to the store; the girls stayed back here to play on the playground, which I think they needed more than another bus ride. Got home to lunch. The girls really like this sausage/cheese on toast thing we've been making. The bread here is very good, and Tierney can't get enough. Even Amissa is sneaking as much as she can, which hopefully isn't causing her wheat-related problems to crop up.

But I suppose those are the mundane details you're not looking for. So off to court. We arrived at 2:30, and as usual, waited. We eventually went into the courtroom, and I've got to say this was not how I think an American court would work. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just a different thing. The judge and the two jurors sat together in the front. The judge's assistant sat off to the side. We sat, with Angelina, off to the left side of the "bench" and the prosecutor sat to the right. Yes, a prosecutor for an adoption case. We didn't see that coming. There was also a representative from the orphanage, and a representative from the Makeevka city council. And of course the three girls.

The court proceedings themselves did follow a predictable pattern. First the judge introduced the case and the stakeholders. We were all asked to provide our names, dates of birth, professions, etc. All fairly standard stuff. Then the questioning began, and anyone in the courtroom had the option to ask questions of whoever was the person in the spotlight. I was first, followed by Shannon, the prosecutor, the city councilwoman, and the orphanage rep. Each of us received questions from others. What was interesting to me was that the jurors were as involved as they were in asking questions. They also were the ones who went with the judge into chambers to deliberate on the decision.

The consensus from the prosecutor, the city council and the orphanage was that it would be in Galya's best interest to be adopted by us (well, in our minds too.) So it really wasn't a surprise when the judge came back with the order saying that they were approving us as adoptive parents. Kinda made the wait worth it:)

Here too I need to say the girls were tremendously patient, sitting for nigh on two hours in a warm courtroom before starting to get overly-antsy. I'm thinking we'll need to do something special for them this weekend. Our court appointment was set for 2:30, and by the time we left it was nearly 6:00. That's a long time to go on a little water and some fruit snacks. Especially when the last 20-30 minutes of the hearing was the judge reading the entire dossier we submitted into the record.

I also have to again say I'm glad Angelina's working for us on this. Usually there is a period of 10 days between the preliminary and final court hearings, so we did get that first 10-day period "waived" as Angelina knew the judge enough to schedule it this way. Unfortunately, we did not get the other 10-day waiting period waived. So at the moment, Galya is still at the orphanage (which disappointed our girls quite a bit) and we do not officially become her parents until 12/16. This is because the 10 days ends on a Sunday, so they have to give it to the next working day for the "10th" day to be available for any appeals. That would be 12/15, so our actual, official, date for taking Galya is 12/16.

This is not to say prayers and wishes went unanswered, merely that they were answered differently from how we'd have wanted. But there's a purpose to it all, and we will spend the next ten days (plus) in Donetsk, and visit Galya as much as we can. We'll be hosting a party at the orphanage sometime next week, and try to get Galya for Saturday's excursion into downtown.

We did find out today that there really is no way to know for sure how Galya's scars came to be, so we're left with the story we have. And we know a little more about the circumstances of her birth (mother was 17, born to a well-off family. She kept it secret from her family, especially her grandfather, who apparently wouldn't have approved. Galya was abandoned at the hospital, and her mother asked that nobody ever reveal she was the mother.) We also learned she was in the hospital for a year dealing with her injuries, which is something we hadn't known. Her guardian is criminally responsible for her condition, but not in prison. It's odd to think that, as much as we know about Tierney and Amissa, there will be so many things we will never know about the first six years of Galya's life.

There are some challenges left here. First, obviously, working with Galya to quickly learn English. She's smart, and this should be fairly quick. Second, I need to get copies of the paperwork, translated, submitted to my workplace for my FMLA application. That will be a challenge as I have to get that in soon, and getting things translated/sent from here will take some time. Finally, our plane tickets right now are for 12/18. It would take a miracle to get everything done in time for all five of us to take that flight now, with the official date of the adoption order being 12/16. It may be that I come back with the girls on 12/18, and Shannon comes with Galya a day or two later. It all depends on the bureacracy in Makeevka, and then at the American embassy in Kiev. Fortunately there are ways to deal with this, however it plays out, so we're not worried about anything in particular. But it would be nice to be able to all return at the same time. Holidays are not great times to try and reschedule a flight, although our travel agent is good. Shannon has already reached out to her, and tomorrow we'll be contacting the American embassy to see what we can do to ensure the quickest turnaround possible there. And we'll sic Angelina on the Makeevka paperwork. It'd be a whirlwind, but we'll see if we can't get it all pulled off.

In short: Galya's our daughter barring any protests or appeals, which aren't expected. But as Ukrainian law says we wait ten days to be sure, we wait ten days. That leaves some logistical challenges, but it will all work out somehow.

Thanks again for all your prayers, support, love and concern. It is greatly humbling to know we have so many people behind us on this!

God bless,
Ron

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

So I Suppose You're All Wondering...

...what happened today, eh?

Well, we woke up and Amissa sat down with the iPod to play Zuma. She's getting pretty good at it. We had breakfast, and met Angelina just after 11:00 to go to our court date at 11:30.

And court was interesting. We waited nigh on an hour to get into the courtroom, and then the judge asked some questions about our readiness to take on Galya, and whether we were ready to adopt a girl with her physical scars. We also found that there is no documentation which speaks at all about the scars or their source. So, at this point, we are left to assume what we were told was true (more on that in a future post where I share the history of what got us to this point.)

After a little questioning, we were told that our final court date is tomorrow at 2:30. Turns out this was the preliminary hearing. Neither Shannon nor I could tell a thing from the judge's countenance, so we assume it went well only because Angelina seemed in good spirits, as if nothing was at all unusual. In short, we're in limbo for another day.

Galya was uncharacteristically shy, and at times looked sad when they were talking about her history. I'm sure this is exciting, intimidating, sad and interesting all at the same time. Plus probably a million other things I can't imagine. The girls were well behaved and quiet, and a bit more enthusiastic than Galya when asked whether they were ready to be her sisters. So all in all, not a bad day, but not a very enlightening one yet.

We came home, and as tired as the girls are, we just watched a movie and relaxed. The girls are now helping Shannon cook dinner. Tierney has been very helpful, even help wash laundry in the tub today. I think she's beginning to think she could even live on her own with all these new skills.

Not much else new to report, so this will be a relatively short blog post. For me anyway.

Hope all is well with you, and that there is good news tomorrow.

Ron

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Ukraine

As I promised I'm going to try and go all educational on y'all and share some knowledge about Ukraine. Not sure how much this helps/hurts, and frankly I'm not convinced I'll be 100% accurate, but it may provide some context for what we're encountering here. As I'm not a history teacher, nor a geography teacher, I'll just provide links to actual information. What is between here and the links are just my (our) observations of the country.

This is a changing country in the midst of post-independence transition. The government, first of all, faces challenges in forming long-lasting governing coalitions. You may remember the Orange Revolution here a few years back. That movement led to a fairly pro-Western government. That government is headed right now by President Viktor Yuschenko (you may remember him as the one that someone attempted to poison) and Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko. From what I can tell of late, these two don't get along well and they are soon to have another set of parliamentary elections to try and get the government moving again. For the most part, though, the governmental disputes and workings don't seem to be of primary concern to most of the Ukrainians I meet. Coming out of a U.S. election cycle, I'm steeped in politics, and being the curious guy I am I've asked a few folks how the Yushchenko/Tymoshenko saga affects them. It's been universally waved off as just "politician games."

Really, the bigger thing seems to be both the big picture and day-to-day picture topics. The big picture is whether one sides more with aligning with Russia, or whether one sides more with aligning with the "West" and NATO. It's probably too simplistic, but it seems you find more pro-Western sentiment in the, well duh, western side of the country. Here, in Donetsk, and other places close to Russia, there is more of an agreement with a Russian perspective. With Russians making up a fairly large minority of the populace, I don't expect that dispute to go away any time soon. The Georgian conflict of late didn't do anything to abate the argument.

The day-to-day picture is, as would be expected, the utilities, the groceries, the economy, the family and the job.

The people are generally polite, if a bit more wary than in America. The sense I get is that it takes much longer to develop deep friendships here, but once made those friendships are stronger than back home. People tend to smile more in dealings with those they know; with those they don't, there is a more serious and somber countenance. Children are seemingly loved quite a bit as ours are often doted upon. (Twice on the buses there have been women who have tried to get Amissa's legs covered where her pant legs rode up a little. There are still a few folks, especially in the older generations, who adhere to concepts such as children not being covered in the winter will make them sick.) Ukrainians tend to be more direct and less politically correct than Americans, and will usually assist if asked for help. The children have been friendly with our girls, and have played with them even when they don't speak the same language. There is much hustling about, and while us Americans are trying to make up our minds about what to do, or where to go, next, we'll find Ukrainians working their way past us in line. Personal space isn't as large here either, as the housing (primarily small flats in multi-story buildings) and transportation (primarily buses and marshutkas) do not lend themselves to a great deal of privacy. (I theorize the Soviet structure itself also tended to discourage privacy, as opposed to the American structure which prizes it.) Frankly, the cities in Ukraine do not serve the claustrophobic or agoraphobic many favors.

The girls' observations about Ukrainians: They wear the same clothes as us, they speak a different language from us, they are good, and the girls/women all like high-heeled boots. Figures they'd notice the fashions.

The economy is trying, and ahead of the American economy in the downward trend. There are limits to how much cash people can withdraw from ATMs, which causes problems in a cash-based society. The exchange rate has greatly improved for dollar-holders since this past summer, but that's not good for the Ukrainian currency (the hrivna.) In July I was getting fewer than 5 hrivna to the dollar. Today we're getting close to 7. Unemployment is up, and people are more fearful for their jobs. We hear people speak of the economic crisis, and I think this fear is more impactful than most other things.

The culture is not terribly different from what I've seen of other European people. Walking and hanging out at clubs or cafes is more popular (seemingly) than watching television or staying at home. This is especially true for the younger generations. Traditional Ukrainian arts and clothing are generally reserved for tourist area souvenir shops as clothing and decor generally mimic that found in other European or American places. The arts are important, as evidenced by the many kept up theaters and signs promoting shows. On the other hand, American products are also highly in evidence as the Donetsk movie theater is showing such fare as Madagascar 2. Alongside Ukrainian products and restaurants we often see Coke and McDonald's. As an American, there are differences to be noted, but there is also much here that can make one feel a bit more at home than I suspect one would have a decade or two ago.

Of course, these observations are our own, and may be tainted by sample errors of many types. But they are what we've noted, and therefore help color how we're experiencing Ukraine.

For those interested, some resources to learn more:


God bless,
Ron

Court Week

Tomorrow is our court date, the big day. Or at least the next big day. There is the potential for another big day or two in the next few weeks depending on how the hearing goes tomorrow. So things get more interesting in the next 24 hours.

When last we spoke, we were at Sunday afternoon. Sunday evening was rather relaxing as we just chilled out at home. Yesterday we awoke to fog. Actually, we've had fog here the past few days. It's made for rather grey days, but the weather has been generally mild. We went to the orphanage in the morning, which was different, and caught Galya out on a walk with some other kids from the orphanage. The teacher (?) was nice enough to let us take her back to play and color some more. While I appreciated the trust, I admit I likely would not have let a child in my charge walk off with four strangers speaking a different language. While the girls colored some more pictures, and ate fruit snacks, we chatted with a couple from Idaho who are adopting two girls from the same orphanage. They're taking on two girls who'd visited their neighborhood for a few months last summer, and to whom they'd obviously taken a shine. It's fascinating hearing the different adoption stories from the (surprisingly many) adoptive families we've met here.

The fruit snacks were a big hit with Galya, as well as with her friend Natasha who sat with us and colored too. I think we best be prepared to bring lots of fruit snacks tomorrow, as well as more markers/crayons, as I think we're about to be known as the "family who gives stuff to kids who hang out with Galya."

We came home and did the proverbial chillin' thing for a bit. I ran into Kate, the daughter of one of the staff here at DCU. We'd first met two years ago when I was first here, and we spent the 30 seconds we had before she had to get back to what she was doing catching up. It's fun seeing people from the summers in this context.

Speaking of which, in the evening, Maxim came to visit. He was one of my students in the English Intensive this past summer. We've made tentative plans to go downtown with him, and whichever other students he can wrangle up, on Saturday. It was fun to hear Maxim's views on America, mostly formed from movies. (Next time you hear Hollywood say they really don't influence behavior or thought, but instead merely reflect reality, that's hogwash.) Then came a dinner of fried hot dogs/potatoes, and off to a prayer meeting at Olga's.

Olga's group of students and staff have been praying for us, and we enjoyed the chance to thank them. They're also planning their Christmas show, and so we got to sing some Christmas carols. Being here, away from most of the Christmas focus, it's easy to forget we're coming up on that time of year again. The girls got to play with a couple of children from Kyrgystan, whose parents study at DCU, and then with a couple of the college students. These college students graciously riled up the girls right before we tried to get them to bed, but eventually we got to the slumber portion of our day.

Today we're waiting to hear from Angelina, who told us she'd call when she got back to Donetsk from Kiev. Hopefully that will be soon, and maybe we'll even have time to get over to see Galya. Otherwise, court tomorrow! And at the very least, another walk to the local store this afternoon.

TTFN -
Ron