Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Skipping ahead in our story...

So, it's been about four months. I'm guessing that's about right for an update, eh?

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It's been an interesting 2012. School is going well. Compared to last year, she has improved academically, socially and behaviorally. As noted last time we chatted, steps are being taken. In '12, there have been a few more steps forward than backwards.

Yay!

In terms of family relationships, there has been some growth too. Her Reactive Attachment Disorder has diminished to the point where she no longer hugs strangers indiscriminately, and her affection toward the family has taken some steps. She is more likely to snuggle & cuddle like the other two, although she is still somewhat tentative about it.

Odd as it seems, her relationships with her sisters have also improved - by becoming more "normal" in terms of sibling rivalry. There are many moments of good playing and getting along punctuated with squabbles & jealousy. Much like between Tierney & Amissa.

Therapy has been a blessing. Our social worker is amazingly patient as we work through issues of trust, honesty & openness. It's sad what abuse & neglect can do to a child. It's joyous, though, what therapy can do to heal. One of the interesting exercises we've done (besides trust falls & story telling) is "re-documenting" her childhood. This consisted of Galyna creating her own baby book which tells the story of her life to date - and which has many pages left for filling in as we go forward. We (Shannon & I) also wrote her letters which described what it would have been like had she been born into our family rather than being adopted into our family. It was rather cool to go back through the girls' scrapbooks to remember the little things we did for them (poems, silly "newspaper" announcements, etc.) and tell Galyna how that would have happened for her. And then to plan to do them retroactively. It seems each session helps us reveal another small adjustment or thought or reason. There is a ways to go, as I always say, but we've come a long way.

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One of the other big steps for Galyna was our first family cruise this past March. We surprised the girls with a Disney Cruise to Mexico, stopping at Puerta Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas. It was quite the adventure. From Las Caletas and a dolphin swim to the food, shows & characters that make a Disney experience a, well, Disney experience, it was a top 3 family vaca. We even got to spend time with some friends who live in L.A. the day before the cruise departed, visiting the Aquarium of the Pacific.

It was touristy - and I can go on evangelizing for the entire trip ad nauseum. However, for the purpose of this blog, I'll stick with talking about how Galyna handled it.

She handled it pretty well. We did allow some spoilage - dessert too often, staying up late a few nights - the usual. But she got along well with her sisters, and made friends. She met a girl from New Mexico and stuck close to her whenever she could. She was patient in line to meet the characters, and didn't argue or complain when it was time to shut down for the night. Galyna wasn't afraid to interact with Shelly (our dolphin) and stuck close by when walking around the various Mexican tourist spots we visited.

In short, I think this was one of the first times she allowed herself to relax a bit and enjoy the "normalcy" of family life. For that alone the vacation was worth it.

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As always, I can't promise whether the next update will be tomorrow or in another four months. But I will come back. Subscribe to the RSS feed or follow the blog for updates.

Until next time, thanks for your prayers, support and encouragement. We appreciate you all!

Ron