Big News!

We have an appointment at Shriner's next Thursday! Hopefully things will go well, which to our minds means (a) they can help Galyna, and (b) they will. Apparently Shriner's is picky about who they take on - and I can't blame them - so we will patiently await their opinion. I'll post another update after we visit the doctors there.

That's the big news. Other news...Galyna likes staying at Grandma and Grandpa O'Malley's house. First nights away since we brought her home went well - although technically she was not alone. All of us went on the getaway, which was nice. I hadn't been up to the in-laws' place in over a year and I enjoy the quiet of the lake place. (Okay, it's quieter when the girls are asleep, but still.) There are so many more stars visible, the company is fantastic...even the drive is nice. Shannon and I each believe we're blessed to have two sets of great in-laws. And the girls love having two sets of fantastic grandparents.

Well, Galyna has three sets as Gib and Tina are honorary grandparents, having been the ones who brought back her story and having been so loving, encouraging and helpful during this whole endeavor.

When Galyna was asked in Ukraine what she thought America would be like she said, "family." In that way, she's been blessed even more than she knew.

God bless -
Ron

The Latest...

So, some new things for the Galyna-interested out there.

• Galyna has started her first sports involvements, taking gymnastics and soccer (wait, since she's European, we'll call it football.) We're hoping these help her with her large motor skills and environmental awareness as these are not well-developed in her yet. For instance, she fell over once from waving at Shannon and saying, "hi mommy!" She's a strong child, and her fine-motor skills are good, so we think this is just a matter of exposing her to more opportunities to run, jump and play in places where there are things to climb on and things to avoid. On the other hand, this will probably lead us to a Thunder game this summer. No offense, but it can't be as fun as a Shakhtar game.


• The first parent-teacher conference went well. Galyna is well liked, and learning much. Her English is improving to the point where we can understand her, even though her grammar is unpolished. If we've gotten to the point that we're making her rephrase requests in the proper grammatical form, we've moved past comprehension - which is a good thing. Her classmates are curious, naturally, about her scarring, but so far little to no outright cruelty. We're blessed in that.


• Speaking of her scarring...we are working on the application to Shriner's to see if they'll be (a) able to take on her case, and (b) able to help remediate some (all?) of the scarring. We're particularly concerned with the graft on her scalp as it splits and bleeds very, very easily. We're not sure it's growing at the same rate as the rest of her scalp, or whether it's not thick enough. But we're also not medical doctors, so just want it checked out. If Shriner's is unable to take on her case, we'll start looking elsewhere - for both another hospital and funding.


• Galyna is fully American. She is now often the first to ask to watch TV or play on the computer. I guess we can say she's acclimating to American culture quickly. You know it's bad when I, of all people, am the one telling her she wants to watch too much TV.

As always, thanks for your prayers and support.

God bless,
Ron

Updates R Us

Did I mention Galyna is now a U.S. citizen? Well, she is and even has a signed letter from President Bush to prove it. Awesomeness.

I uploaded some more pictures to Facebook for your perusal.

This album shows pictures of the girls' dance recitals. Galyna was able to watch her sisters dance this past January, and I'm guessing at some point she'll want to take dance lessons too.

The second album shows Amissa in her traditional Ukrainian dress, which we picked up for her in Donetsk. I think I promised to share pictures of this outfit, so here they are!

The final album includes pictures of the girls at their "Jump Into Reading" awards ceremony at school. They all received medals for reaching reading (or, in Galyna's case, being read to) goals. Tierney and Amissa also entered thematic sculptures, and each won first prize for her age group. I was rather proud. Still am, actually.

Other updates on Galya: She's continuing to grasp English. She has reached the point where we can understand her fairly well, although obviously it's still a work in progress. She's settled into more of a routine, although she's still pushing a few boundaries.

She no longer wears her hat in public, by her own choice, so she's appearing even more comfortable in her own skin - literally. We will need to get her in to see a reconstructive specialist soon as the skin on her head is tending to split frequently. We think the graft there isn't growing as quickly as the skin on the rest of her head, which is causing more tears.

Galyna went to her first gymnastics class yesterday. She seemed to enjoy it, and is excited to go back. We think it will help her develop her muscle control and coordination, as well as provide an outlet for her energy. We have her signed up for soccer in the summer, too, so it's full steam ahead for the "typical American over-committed kid" immersion. (Kidding - the girls don't get too many things, even if they want them; we don't want them over-scheduled.)

Thanks for the continued prayer/support. She's growing and acclimating fast, and we see more of her personality bloom each day. To date, we're still very much ahead of the game with many more positives than challenges. God is indeed good.

God bless,
Ron

So where've we been?

Life has been good of late, although challenges abound. This is not unexpected, and sometimes even not unwanted.

Galyna has seemed to adjust well to school. Her English is getting much better, and she is speaking very little Russian by now. We would say her English is at a toddler-esque level, with sentences structured like, "please Galyna has cereal?" She is learning well how to follow etiquette rules, like asking to be excused from the dinner table, saying, "excuse me," "please," and "thank you" appropriately. And best of all she likes school. She's even stopped wearing her hat in school, for the most part, meaning she's comfortable with who she is. There are a few kids who say things about her scars, but her sisters are quick to jump to her defense.

I think having her in school five days a week is helping her adaptation and her language skills. She's certainly getting more conversation practice than she would if she were at home. Play time at home is still more divided than not, as Tierney and Amissa play together using intricate and very verbal "scripts" they make up. Galyna isn't quite skilled enough in English to keep up, so she's often found coloring while the other two play. Tierney and Amissa do try to include her, but Galya self-selects coloring over play quite often.

She is popular at Sunday School, although we're fairly sure she's not grasping the concept of church quite yet. She enjoys going, and is happy to see her teachers.

The one surprising thing we've noticed is that she completely shuts down around Russian speakers, not even acknowledging them when they talk to her. Her translators at doctor's appointments, for instance, have not been able to get anything out of her; she ignores them completely. We're not sure, but we suspect there's a latent fear of going back to Ukraine. She's adamant about being an American, and her home is in America. She shows little interest in things Ukrainian, which I guess shouldn't surprise us. There are signs she's not quite sure this whole arrangement is permanent, and that would seem natural for those raised in an orphanage, especially those with an abusive/"neglective" background like hers.

Her emotions have stabilized somewhat, although she still flips switches faster than anyone I've ever seen in my life. It's fun to notice she is starting to feel more comfortable, although that comfort is leading to boundary testing. School and Sunday School teachers are seeing the brunt of it now, but we see some at home. She hates being told she's done something wrong, though (she shuts down or breaks down completely at any sign of discipline, even going so far as to try and ignore us and hope we go away - ha! not working with her Irish mother) so I expect this phase won't last too long.

Overall, more good than bad. There are frustrating moments, still, but she's understanding us pretty well. We're understanding her more each day, and as I said she's feeling more comfortable here. We hope that soon she starts to realize we're in this for the long haul, and some of her defenses will start to go down so we can teach her even more, and more effectively. Her smile and laugh are still contagious, and her sense of humor is starting to show. All in all, a good couple of months.

We hope all is well with you, and more will be updated as we continue on this little adventure of ours.

God bless,
Ron

Oh! One more thing. It's been fun too having people ask about our experiences. Sharing this story has been a blessing to us; if you have any questions at all, don't feel like you're intruding to ask.

2009: Year in Review (So Far)

I can hear you asking. It's a bit early for a YIR post, isn't it? Only if it's the only one. So nag me if I don't get another one out in the near future.

When last we "spoke" it was Christmas Eve. Much has spoken since then, of course, but to avoid turning this post into the novella format for which I've become (in)famous among some of you I'll cover just the basics.

Christmas went well, overall. As expected Galya was overwhelmed by many gifts (well, for her many; for her sisters it was a smaller "haul" than usual considering our lack of Christmas shopping time.) The attention and meeting family members created some long, but very good days. She also really enjoyed the Christmas light displays we got to see.

During Christmas vacation from school, the girls did get some time at our daycare provider Joni's house. Joni's son happens, of all the coincidences, to be a fourth-year Russian language student at the U of Chicago. This was nice as we were able to have him explain school, and that we wouldn't just be dropping her at some faceless building ne'er to return. She also heard a translated lecture about the inappropriateness of hitting as a problem-solving technique. She is a high-energy and fairly aggressive child, we're finding. We've heard this is typical of Ukrainian children in general and orphanage-raised children in particular. This is understandable, but an area we're working to address with her.

After that most arbitrary of holidays, New Year's, we started Galyna in school. She was naturally apprehensive, but came back from the first day happy. Even better, she was glad to go the next morning again! We have her in all-day kindergarten two days each week, and then in two other programs designed to help struggling kindergartners catch up to the rest of the class. It's a blessing those two programs had space for her this late in the year, but we anticipate (and are seeing!) that she will learn English more rapidly than if she were just in school two days a week.

Since then things have been going fairly well. There are more ups than downs, though still a few challenges. This is not a complaint; far from it. We walked into this understanding there would be challenges, and nothing so far has really caught us off-guard. That said, a number of you are praying for us, and so I'll offer up some understanding of our challenges to date in the next post (he says, aiming to avoid novella-status for this one.) I'll also post some of the "wins" of the past few weeks, as well as an update from the physician. Oh, and if you ask nicely, I may get some more pictures up on Monday. The employer gave us MLK day off this year, so I'll have some time to catch up!

Thanks for your concern, prayers and support!

God bless,
Ron

Thanks Justin!

Justin Piehowski at MinnPost posted a nice story about this blog today in his column today.

Please go read it - unless you came here from there, in which case, WELCOME!

And again, to all of you, Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah!

Ron

Christmas Eve

It's our first Christmas with Galyna, obviously. The highlight for her so far is the Christmas tree. We were able to find an acceptable one this past Sunday at Home Depot of all places. The selection was slim, but that's what you get when you spend the bulk of your time since late November in Ukraine. She and her sisters decorated the tree up nicely, and now the presents are starting to appear. With all the snow, it finally feels like Christmas too!

Frankly, with the focus in Ukraine being on the adoption, we missed all the ramp-up to Christmas. It's the strangest feeling Christmas I've been a part of in that until this week, I've barely given it a thought.

It should be fun to watch Galya open presents that are FOR HER! I can't imagine she's had many opportunities in the past. Everything is so very new, and adopting in the holiday season accentuates the newness of everything. It makes cramming in last-minute Christmas shopping worth it.

One of our challenges will be the time with family. This is not to say we don't want to introduce Galya to the broader family; on the contrary, we obviously do. But adoption advice we were given by multiple adoption "professionals" was to keep things low-key in the first few months so the child doesn't end up not knowing who he/she is bonding with, or so the child doesn't end up not bonding altogether. Low-key is impossible at this time of year. We'll be trying to manage it carefully. As we found on the way home from Kiev, Galya is willing to latch onto anyone being nice to her. That is fine to a point, but if it ends up causing problems with integrating our family...well, you can imagine we don't want to take that on. So balance in all things is key.

On the plus side, she ate all her veggies at dinner last night, even declaring them "num-num." I take that as a good sign having cooked said dinner. She's also picked up a couple of words in English. She can count to ten, say "hello" and "good morning" in the proper contexts. She still parrots more than actually uses words, but I can see signs she's working on it.

At daycare yesterday (which she handled with aplomb) the Russian-speaking son of the daycare provider did find out Galyna knows what school is, and so won't be surprised in January when we take her there. She also got to go sledding and ice skating. She'll be a natural-born Minnesotan in no time!

That's the update. Today is another chance to learn about this new family dynamic and our newest daughter, as well as for her to start meeting more family. We'll see how it goes, and as always pray it goes well.

For you and yours, I wish you a very Merry Christmas. As much as we are focusing on Galyna, Tierney and Amissa, this time of year is about remembering and celebrating another child and why he was born. Enjoy the season, the family and the traditions. But remember first the real reason of Christmas.

God bless,
Ron