Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Christmas & Surgery
She enjoyed the time of visiting family and unwrapping gifts. She also took part in her very first kids Christmas program and appeared to remember all the words. Unfortunately, she ended up on the far side of the choir from where I was sitting so I ended up not being able to see her as much as I'd have liked. (Her sisters did a bang up job too, which I sha'nt forget.)
Now that Christmas has passed, though, we came upon Galyna's second surgery date - yesterday. For those of you new to the story, Galyna had four tissue expanders inserted into her scalp a few months back in order to help grow some new hair-follicle-containing skin which can replace some skin grafts on her head. Yesterday they removed the insert, and stretched the skin out to cover the graft area. The surgery went very well, and although we can't see her scalp for the turban of gauze covering her head, we trust the surgeon did quality work. There is still a chance the tissue won't have good blood flow, but for now things are pretty good. Her spirits are up, she has energy and the pain is non-existent.
She'll be on restricted activities for another six weeks to let her scalp heal, which should take her up to the mid-February trip to Florida. That didn't stop her from playing Candy Land and basketball with some teenage boys who came up with a group of Iowans bearing new toys/games for the hospital. She enjoyed showing them how to do sand art, and throwing an inflatable ball around. She pretty much has the run of the place (not many other kids on the floor) and the boys pretty much loved her to death. Typical for a Stewart gal, actually:)
It was interesting, and a bit creepy, to hear that some of her initial grafts were placed directly onto the skull, with none of the tissue between graft and bone which would normally be there. It was a reminder that there is still so much we don't know about her former trauma or treatments. It raises a few risks of the tissue not "taking" as well as it should, but we'll just let God take care of that.
As always, thanks for the thoughts, prayer and encouragement. The challenges remain (albeit in reduced or different forms) and the benefits are growing. Our next focus is going to be working on getting her to understand that this family thing is permanent. She still seems fearful of having to go back to Ukraine after some amount of time. It's not fun, but I can certainly understand how someone who's been abandoned multiple times might be waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's amazing how many challenges resolve to reveal another set, all of which are understandable based on what she's been through.
That's the latest; I hope your Christmas was merry, and your New Year is a blessed one.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Gotcha!
It's been a fascinating, wonderful, challenging and blessed year. Thanks to all of you for your care, prayers and encouragement. It means so much to our family that you are sharing this journey with us.
God bless -
Ron
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The First Autumn
The family is continuing to bond, a process that will take the better part of many years. Amissa & Galyna get along pretty well most days, although there is some friction between (rules-oriented) Tierney and (still-learning-the-rules) Galyna. We look at it as a great opportunity to teach Tierney grace & compassion while continuing to help Galyna adapt to her new family/culture. It's been a wonderful thing to see how the bigger family has led to growth in all the kids, not just Galyna. Seeing Tierney & Amissa, for instance, get upset at the local water park when some boys were teasing Galyna showed a deep compassion and love for their sister. (And seeing Tierney NOT deck the boys showed a growing patience on her part; there was a time in daycare - years back - where she hit a boy who was teasing Amissa. She was promptly put into a timeout. Later that afternoon, the daycare provider came along to see Tierney once again in the timeout spot. When asked why she was sitting there, Tierney said something along the lines of, "I hit
School continues apace, and Galyna is starting to pick up some reading skills. Her verbal English has long been ahead of her written English, which is natural. It's fun to see her starting to catch up. She's also popular at school and we see her giving (and receiving) many hugs from classmates when we pick her up at day's end. The only downside is she's on phy-ed & recess restrictions while the implants are in. It's a blessing to have teachers willing to be creative in helping her remain engaged anyway. Her favorite subject is art, and she's said a few times now she wants to be an art teacher. (Heh - as I type this she's pulling out colored pencils and paper. Call me Nostradamus.) If patterns hold, we'll have Tierney as our dramatic/performing arts daughter, Amissa as our gymnastics/swimming daughter, and Galyna as our visual arts daughter. Which should make logistics fun when they're all involved in actvities.
Galyna's treatments continue to progress. Her last hospital appointment went well, and it looks like the surgery to remove her implants will be December 28. That lines up well as it allows her to get through Christmas, as well as to recover in time to not miss any school. Of the four implants, we've finished filling two, and the other two are 1/2 - 2/3 full. To my untrained eye, the net result of this should be an improvement of hair coverage of 50%+. She's tolerating the saline injections much better now that we're finished with the two ports on her neck, which were always the painful ones. What I find myself wondering about is whether she'll want to go back for a second set of procedures when she sees the results of this one.
This is not to say there aren't still challenges, although things are smoothing out. The experts tend to agree that after 6 months you start to see real breakthroughs in bonding and we certainly have. She is starting to feel more comfortable, although there are still times it seems she's not sure of what's going on (or what's expected of her.) We have managed to work through some of the ... "survival habits" she picked up in the orphanage. As we come up on the one-year anniversary of the trip to Ukraine to bring Galyna into our family we remain grateful for the opportunity God provided.
As always, we thank you too for your prayers and support.
God bless,
Ron
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Summer Wanes, Procedures Continue
Since we last spoke (ha!) here we've had a few new experiences for Galyna. Aside from the needles and saline (more below) we introduced her to the following:
- Camping: Okay, she's been camping before, but this was our annual family camping trip to the Wisconsin Dells' Jellystone Campground. Yeah, it's campy (pun intended) but it's fun. Also, when you go over a September weekend you pretty much have the joint to yourself. On a side note, Tierney appears to be getting too "old" for this campground. I've been doing a bit of photo labeling and sorting of late, and watching how much the girls have grown...better stop now before I get eye moisture on my keyboard.
- First Grade: this is Galyna's first year in everyday school. Last year she was in a couple of school-based programs the days she wasn't in kindergarten, but this year she has all-day/everyday class with the same teacher and classmates. Conferences come up Thursday evening, so we'll see how she's doing. She was fairly nervous about homework, although why that would be we don't know; her sisters rave about homework and want to get lots. Maybe she's hearing things from other kids!
- The Great Minnesota Get-Together: I'm not sure Galyna has yet recovered from the incessant over-stimulation that is our state fair. From games and rides to food and animals, she saw more of pretty much everything than she ever had before.
- Church: Yeah, she's been going since we adopted her, but this summer she was in the service on Sunday mornings since children's programming was a "one hour or the other, but not both" option for us. It'll be interesting to hear, as she gets better at expressing herself, how she perceived this.
I'm sure there are other things I'm missing, but this is already looking to be one of my (in)famously verbose posts.
On to the medical portion of our show. We've had the opportunity (challenge? distress? stress?) of a lifetime, twice since our last hospital visit, to inflate Galyna's tissue expanders. It can't be a good sign when she starts crying hard and tightening up long before I even pull the needle out of the packaging. What is hardest for her is the inflation of two ports on her neck (which inflate expanders on the sides of her head) and the discomfort caused by her stretched skin over the two days or so subsequent to each expansion. All of which I completely get. The last time, she even said she wanted to have them removed and forego hair for the rest of her life. Fortunately, the two ports on the top of her head don't cause her as much trouble, so by the end of the procedure she's generally calmed down.
Aside from the obvious pain/discomfort, there are also starting to be some aesthetic concerns. The expanders lift the scalp tissue, which makes Galyna's head look very "lumpy" and not round. She sees this as "gross" and "ugly." Which, again, I understand. It has to be so very hard for her to see what we do, which is the end game. Her immediate pain is the hard part, and knowing she won't fully grasp the benefits of this until months (or years) from now is difficult on all of us. But. We persevere.
We do this because the procedure is a blessing from God; Shriner's care has been excellent, and the gift of free procedures is humbling. We're not "fixing" a broken doll, but Shriners is helping us heal a hurt child. We don't minimize the pain she feels now, but we know she'll at some point have part of her past healed from this. We also persevere because we want for her the best life possible, and although we'd like to think she'd always be treated normally despite having physical differences we're not so naive as to believe that's reality. She's always been beautiful to us; we want her to be beautiful to herself too.
So as you go through your Thursday evenings these next few weeks, please remember us in a prayer. I'm sure Galyna will appreciate it, even if she doesn't know it's happening.
God bless,
Ron
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Post-Op Update
Galyna was not thrilled, to say the least, with the whole needle part of the experience. She hung in there, though, and the tears flowed more slowly (and quietly!) once she realized it wasn't as bad as she feared it might be.
The process is to add more saline to her implants each week, then revisit the hospital in a month to gauge progress. Then we'll discuss when to finish the procedure by taking the expanded tissue and using it to cover the areas of her scalp which are currently covered by (non-hirsute) skin grafts.
In the meantime, she's on full restriction of physical activity at school. Both gym and recess will have to be monitored for her as she can't do anything to risk head injury. The playground, anything involving objects flying through the air, running, jumping, etc. That could very well be the hardest part for her, and it will last 2-3 months. Fortunately, the teachers at the local school are great, and will be helping to give her options that keep her engaged with the rest of the class, yet protect her head from injury.
Speaking of school, last night was open house night. Galyna (and her sisters) met teachers, hugged people not seen in months and displayed a bit of apprehension at the thought of homework. Well, Tierney and Amissa weren't at all nervous about that, but Galyna is. Her speaking is coming along well. She's to the point we understand what she's trying to say, but are correcting grammar and vocabulary. Her reading is behind, and she still struggles with focus on certain words and letters. But even there she's further along than she was before the summer. (Honestly, with a pseudo-writer/avid reader/grammar geek for a father - not that you can tell from this blog - and avid reader mother and sisters, Galyna has zero chance of getting through life unable to read and write. Whether she likes it or not!) We're looking forward to seeing her blossom this year as she gets into the swing of things.
There are other concerns we're dealing with, naturally, due to the nature of adopting a previously abused, different cultured, institutionally raised child into a family like we've done. The good news is the issues are new, meaning many have been resolved. Life continues to be an adventure, and even in the tougher spots (squabbles with sisters, etc...) we wouldn't change a thing. The blessings outweigh the pain, and even the pain is a blessing at times.
I could go on about how pain can be used for evil, or it could be a necessary part of restoration, healing and redemption. But that's a bit deep for an 11:00 pm post. As always, thanks for prayers, support and love.
It's greatly appreciated. Always.
God bless,
Ron
Monday, August 24, 2009
Surgery Day
A few months ago we found that Shriners accepted Galyna's case. The procedure they would perform is called tissue expansion, which is basically the placing of saline-filled "balloons" under the scalp in areas where she has hair coverage. The amount of saline is increased over time, which stretches the skin. After a while, there is sufficient extra skin, with hair follicles, to cover areas on her scalp where there is no hair currently.
It's genius, really, and especially effective for this type of situation.
We showed up at the hospital today ~ 8:00, and the two-hour pre-operative process was fairly straightforward. There was a quick shower (did not see that on the pre-op prep instructions, or we'd have done that at home last night), the taking of vital signs and the ceremonial (or not) shaving of her head. After that we went into pre-op, where she was allowed to select her own scent (strawberry-kiwi) for the happy-sleepy gas, as well as the color for her bandages (pink.) From there the surgical team took Galyna into surgery, Shannon took Tierney & Amissa to their cousin's for a few days and I headed to the waiting room. Just under three hours later, Shannon returned and Galyna came out of surgery. The timing was propitious; they waited until Shannon and I ran down to the cafeteria for a quick lunch to let us know we could go see her:)
They placed four tissue expanders in her scalp, and clipped off one smashed fingernail (another trauma from her prior life.) As I type this, roughly 4 hours after she came out of surgery, she is just now starting to awaken. She's nibbling on crackers, watching cartoons and coloring her very own floppy hat. She's also going to color a baseball cap for her bear, Ashley, who kept her company through surgery. Loyalty like that must be rewarded.
The rest of this evening will be some more clear foods, rest, cartoons, rest, visits from my folks and maybe another friend or two, followed by more rest. They have placed Galyna on a PCA drip, which allows for her to get a boost of pain killer if she needs it, but so far she's been showing no signs of pain. Post-op narcotics and residual anesthesia seem to be taking care of that. Her energy will return in fits and starts, and in about 48 hours she should be back to completely normal.
The next event in the process is a follow-up appointment in early September where we learn how to add saline to her expanders. That will be interesting. My prior experience at a plasma donation center will come in handy, although I never had to stick a relative before. I just hope to earn some good brownie points by not having my wife do it.
Thanks, as always, for the thoughts, prayers and support. They are definitely felt and appreciated. With the way we've seen God work through all this it's obvious they are effective too.
God bless,
Ron
Surgery Day
Thought I'd catch you up, albeit briefly, on today's goings on. We take Galya down to Shriners hospital today ~8:00, and she goes in for surgery ~10:00. The procedure should take a couple of hours, and she'll be in the hospital for at least one, possibly two nights afterwards.
I'll be back again later to let y'all know how it goes:)
God bless -
Ron
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Latest From the Good Doc's
We're still fairly sure that Galyna doesn't understand what the procedure will be like. Primarily because we haven't given her much detail yet; we want her to enjoy as much of summer as she can without a fear of another surgery in her too-young-for-this life. (Actually, nobody's ever really "old enough" for what she's been through.) You can tell she's nervous, though, as she gets squirmier than usual, and giggly. I'm not sure what her memories of surgery in Ukraine were like. We trust her experience here will be better, but if she has no memories of the past operations, or if those memories are bad, she'll have added fears going into it.
She is, as we know, healthy. She survived a blood draw, although there was much crying before the needle was even brought out. Promises of ice cream and the ever present toys were enough to calm her down.
Tierney and Amissa joined us for the excursion, which likely won't happen again. Delays led to a four + hour visit. We wanted them to see, and be somewhat familiar with, the hospital environment. They enjoyed the toys and games in the lobby, as well as the not-so-horrible cafeteria food. But it ended up being a long day.
So surgery is scheduled for August 24 ~ 10:00 a.m. There's one more physical, but that's the big day. Between now and then we have to also come up with the optimal way to get her to a better understanding of the procedure and the short-term impact to her life from it. She'll have to deal with no hair for a while, some discomfort when the expanders are filled and some obvious bulges in her scalp as the expanders, well, expand. This is an awful lot for a pretty little girl to deal with, but if there's anything we've learned about her it's that she's a survivor.
Thanks as always for the prayers and support. It is so very good to know we're not in this alone.
God bless,
Ron
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
June-ish Update
I'm currently in the midst of an experiment. Take Shannon out of the country (to India, to be precise) for 15 days. Add one mama's girl who has yet to spend a night away from both her adoptive parents. Stir in a daycamp for her sisters and a need to work from home for her father. Observe how she handles the relative alone-ness and quiet of the house.
So far? So good. She's handled it with aplomb, although there has been some help in the form of Grandma and Grandpa O'Malley visiting Sunday through Tuesday of each week so I can get some office time. I think she likes the time alone with us too.
She survived the school year well enough, although she will need summer school. Her focus is more sporadic than that of her sisters, so she still doesn't have her letters down. Her verbal English is far ahead of her written, which doesn't surprise. She also seemed to enjoy being at school - although her dinner conversation usually related about recess and lunch more than the three r's.
Her general behavior has improved as well. Galyna seems to be getting better about understanding "the rules" and is conforming to them better. There are still a few side-effects of her background and delayed development we need to work through, but progress is definitely being made. Early on (as I think I mentioned) it seemed she was working her way up the developmental ladder in two-week increments, pushing new boundaries pretty regularly every 14 days. In the past couple of months, that has leveled off quite a bit. One of the things we were told often was that there was usually a big step forward in stability ~ 6 months in. That seems to be right on track.
We also took her on the first road trip to Chicago so she could meet my Mom's side of the family. She very much enjoyed that, and even got along famously with Grandpa's dog. Galya's not been much of a fan of dogs at all, so that was good progress to see. Overall, her skittishness and propensity to flinch away from movement have decreased. I count this as a growing comfort level.
Oddly enough, another sign that tells me I think she's growing more comfortable with us is that she's started talking about her life in Ukraine more. She speaks of how she misses her friend Katya, how she wants to go back and visit, and how she wants to see pictures. This past weekend, she even started talking about her "mommy and daddy" (really, her guardians since she never knew her birth parents in Ukraine) and how her mommy mistreated her. Even this story had new elements as Galyna spoke of being put in very hot water, then being put with the pigs. I have no idea if this is memory or if this is just her repeating what she heard others say about her story. The hot water is a new element, but it would make sense to this medical layman; her scars never seemed quite consistent with just animal bites to me. But again, I'm no expert.
Either way...still ticks me off to know how she used to be treated. And, we'll likely start her into counseling sooner than originally thought so she can work through these in a more healthful way. I also see some new work in helping her understand the concept of family, and what it means to have a mother and father. She still seems to think that those are the people taking care of her. That too will come with time. Really, though, I look at this as a positive. She feels comfortable enough with us and her stability that she can talk about Ukraine again.
Progress is coming in unpredictable fits and starts, but it is coming. Next big milestone is the July 2nd visit to Shriner's. I'll update for sure then, if not sooner.
Thanks for your patience!
God bless -
Ron
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Adopting a Sibling
Adopting a sibling can change your life. It can change your life because they don't know your family ways or how they act. It also changes your life because there's another family member to be with and love. It can also change your life because there's another voice laughing when there's a joke. That's how your life changes once you adopt a sibling.
She has to learn our family ways. One time she dug her chin into my arm, and lots of times when she's upset she makes mean glares and faces at Amissa and I. Sometimes she STOMPS to her bed when she's upset and just lays there while she cries. And whenever she has a straw, she slurps and makes bubbles in her drink. That's why she needs to learn our family ways.
There's an extra family to love. Because there's another person in the house, there's another person to live with, and one other family member to snuggle with. And another person to laugh and have fun with. Now there's another family member to love.
There's lots more laughter. She's funny and makes funny faces. There's another voice laughing when something funny is going on. And somtimes she says funny words or talks in a funny voice. That's how there's lots more laughter.
It's hard work adopting a sibling. There's another person to live with, another voice laughing when there's a joke. And there's another person to snuggle with and love. It's rough and lots of hard work, but I'm so GLAD she's in MY family!
I like this essay because it gives some insight into what Tierney felt about the adoption. I typed it as she wrote it; this is unvarnished eight year old. And like any good writer, she left the best for the very end.
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Consult
We sent in our application and photos a couple of weeks ago, and the initial screening appointment was set for yesterday. The surgeon took a look at Galyna's scalp, and they took some pictures. We didn't talk much about her other scars, but the surgeon (and this is the good part) said he thinks they have a reasonable chance to help with her scalp. So, we're in - at least for another step. July 2nd we'll go back and Galyna will have a more thorough exam and physical before scheduling surgery.
It looks like the approach on Galyna's scalp will be to use a process known as tissue expansion. In a nutshell, small "balloons" are inserted under her skin, and over time are filled with salinated water to expand the skin. This "extra" skin is then used to replace what is now the grafted area.
Downsides: discomfort, length and number of treatments, shaved head required, appearance is altered as the balloon inflates.
Upside: long-term best way to get hair coverage as it uses scalp skin (with hair follicles) for the coverage.
So, while it doesn't appear to be easy or simple, it seems the most effective.
That said, it's easier for us to contemplate than for her, I'm sure. We haven't yet (but we will when surgery is scheduled) talk with her about the procedure. She was obviously very nervous to the point of giggling through everything just having a doctor there. It helped that there were no needles, but I'm sure she remembers some of her past surgeries. In Ukraine she had surgery on her scalp last spring, so hospitals in general can't be exciting for her.
So, as far as our concerns go, dealing with her post-surgery healing and with filling her expaners from time to time (yes, they will trust us to do this!) and her overall antipathy toward all things medical would top the list. The one we had been worrying about - whether Shriner's would take on her case - seems to be behind us now.
God is good:)
God bless,
Ron
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Big News!
That's the big news. Other news...Galyna likes staying at Grandma and Grandpa O'Malley's house. First nights away since we brought her home went well - although technically she was not alone. All of us went on the getaway, which was nice. I hadn't been up to the in-laws' place in over a year and I enjoy the quiet of the lake place. (Okay, it's quieter when the girls are asleep, but still.) There are so many more stars visible, the company is fantastic...even the drive is nice. Shannon and I each believe we're blessed to have two sets of great in-laws. And the girls love having two sets of fantastic grandparents.
Well, Galyna has three sets as Gib and Tina are honorary grandparents, having been the ones who brought back her story and having been so loving, encouraging and helpful during this whole endeavor.
When Galyna was asked in Ukraine what she thought America would be like she said, "family." In that way, she's been blessed even more than she knew.
God bless -
Ron
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The Latest...
- Galyna has started her first sports involvements, taking gymnastics and soccer (wait, since she's European, we'll call it football.) We're hoping these help her with her large motor skills and environmental awareness as these are not well-developed in her yet. For instance, she fell over once from waving at Shannon and saying, "hi mommy!" She's a strong child, and her fine-motor skills are good, so we think this is just a matter of exposing her to more opportunities to run, jump and play in places where there are things to climb on and things to avoid. On the other hand, this will probably lead us to a Thunder game this summer. No offense, but it can't be as fun as a Shakhtar game.
- The first parent-teacher conference went well. Galyna is well liked, and learning much. Her English is improving to the point where we can understand her, even though her grammar is unpolished. If we've gotten to the point that we're making her rephrase requests in the proper grammatical form, we've moved past comprehension - which is a good thing. Her classmates are curious, naturally, about her scarring, but so far little to no outright cruelty. We're blessed in that.
- Speaking of her scarring...we are working on the application to Shriner's to see if they'll be (a) able to take on her case, and (b) able to help remediate some (all?) of the scarring. We're particularly concerned with the graft on her scalp as it splits and bleeds very, very easily. We're not sure it's growing at the same rate as the rest of her scalp, or whether it's not thick enough. But we're also not medical doctors, so just want it checked out. If Shriner's is unable to take on her case, we'll start looking elsewhere - for both another hospital and funding.
- Galyna is fully American. She is now often the first to ask to watch TV or play on the computer. I guess we can say she's acclimating to American culture quickly. You know it's bad when I, of all people, am the one telling her she wants to watch too much TV.
As always, thanks for your prayers and support.
God bless,
Ron
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Updates R Us
I uploaded some more pictures to Facebook for your perusal.
This album shows pictures of the girls' dance recitals. Galyna was able to watch her sisters dance this past January, and I'm guessing at some point she'll want to take dance lessons too.
The second album shows Amissa in her traditional Ukrainian dress, which we picked up for her in Donetsk. I think I promised to share pictures of this outfit, so here they are!
The final album includes pictures of the girls at their "Jump Into Reading" awards ceremony at school. They all received medals for reaching reading (or, in Galyna's case, being read to) goals. Tierney and Amissa also entered thematic sculptures, and each won first prize for her age group. I was rather proud. Still am, actually.
Other updates on Galya: She's continuing to grasp English. She has reached the point where we can understand her fairly well, although obviously it's still a work in progress. She's settled into more of a routine, although she's still pushing a few boundaries.
She no longer wears her hat in public, by her own choice, so she's appearing even more comfortable in her own skin - literally. We will need to get her in to see a reconstructive specialist soon as the skin on her head is tending to split frequently. We think the graft there isn't growing as quickly as the skin on the rest of her head, which is causing more tears.
Galyna went to her first gymnastics class yesterday. She seemed to enjoy it, and is excited to go back. We think it will help her develop her muscle control and coordination, as well as provide an outlet for her energy. We have her signed up for soccer in the summer, too, so it's full steam ahead for the "typical American over-committed kid" immersion. (Kidding - the girls don't get too many things, even if they want them; we don't want them over-scheduled.)
Thanks for the continued prayer/support. She's growing and acclimating fast, and we see more of her personality bloom each day. To date, we're still very much ahead of the game with many more positives than challenges. God is indeed good.
God bless,
Ron
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
So where've we been?
Galyna has seemed to adjust well to school. Her English is getting much better, and she is speaking very little Russian by now. We would say her English is at a toddler-esque level, with sentences structured like, "please Galyna has cereal?" She is learning well how to follow etiquette rules, like asking to be excused from the dinner table, saying, "excuse me," "please," and "thank you" appropriately. And best of all she likes school. She's even stopped wearing her hat in school, for the most part, meaning she's comfortable with who she is. There are a few kids who say things about her scars, but her sisters are quick to jump to her defense.
I think having her in school five days a week is helping her adaptation and her language skills. She's certainly getting more conversation practice than she would if she were at home. Play time at home is still more divided than not, as Tierney and Amissa play together using intricate and very verbal "scripts" they make up. Galyna isn't quite skilled enough in English to keep up, so she's often found coloring while the other two play. Tierney and Amissa do try to include her, but Galya self-selects coloring over play quite often.
She is popular at Sunday School, although we're fairly sure she's not grasping the concept of church quite yet. She enjoys going, and is happy to see her teachers.
The one surprising thing we've noticed is that she completely shuts down around Russian speakers, not even acknowledging them when they talk to her. Her translators at doctor's appointments, for instance, have not been able to get anything out of her; she ignores them completely. We're not sure, but we suspect there's a latent fear of going back to Ukraine. She's adamant about being an American, and her home is in America. She shows little interest in things Ukrainian, which I guess shouldn't surprise us. There are signs she's not quite sure this whole arrangement is permanent, and that would seem natural for those raised in an orphanage, especially those with an abusive/"neglective" background like hers.
Her emotions have stabilized somewhat, although she still flips switches faster than anyone I've ever seen in my life. It's fun to notice she is starting to feel more comfortable, although that comfort is leading to boundary testing. School and Sunday School teachers are seeing the brunt of it now, but we see some at home. She hates being told she's done something wrong, though (she shuts down or breaks down completely at any sign of discipline, even going so far as to try and ignore us and hope we go away - ha! not working with her Irish mother) so I expect this phase won't last too long.
Overall, more good than bad. There are frustrating moments, still, but she's understanding us pretty well. We're understanding her more each day, and as I said she's feeling more comfortable here. We hope that soon she starts to realize we're in this for the long haul, and some of her defenses will start to go down so we can teach her even more, and more effectively. Her smile and laugh are still contagious, and her sense of humor is starting to show. All in all, a good couple of months.
We hope all is well with you, and more will be updated as we continue on this little adventure of ours.
God bless,
Ron
Oh! One more thing. It's been fun too having people ask about our experiences. Sharing this story has been a blessing to us; if you have any questions at all, don't feel like you're intruding to ask.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
2009: Year in Review (So Far)
When last we "spoke" it was Christmas Eve. Much has spoken since then, of course, but to avoid turning this post into the novella format for which I've become (in)famous among some of you I'll cover just the basics.
Christmas went well, overall. As expected Galya was overwhelmed by many gifts (well, for her many; for her sisters it was a smaller "haul" than usual considering our lack of Christmas shopping time.) The attention and meeting family members created some long, but very good days. She also really enjoyed the Christmas light displays we got to see.
During Christmas vacation from school, the girls did get some time at our daycare provider Joni's house. Joni's son happens, of all the coincidences, to be a fourth-year Russian language student at the U of Chicago. This was nice as we were able to have him explain school, and that we wouldn't just be dropping her at some faceless building ne'er to return. She also heard a translated lecture about the inappropriateness of hitting as a problem-solving technique. She is a high-energy and fairly aggressive child, we're finding. We've heard this is typical of Ukrainian children in general and orphanage-raised children in particular. This is understandable, but an area we're working to address with her.
After that most arbitrary of holidays, New Year's, we started Galyna in school. She was naturally apprehensive, but came back from the first day happy. Even better, she was glad to go the next morning again! We have her in all-day kindergarten two days each week, and then in two other programs designed to help struggling kindergartners catch up to the rest of the class. It's a blessing those two programs had space for her this late in the year, but we anticipate (and are seeing!) that she will learn English more rapidly than if she were just in school two days a week.
Since then things have been going fairly well. There are more ups than downs, though still a few challenges. This is not a complaint; far from it. We walked into this understanding there would be challenges, and nothing so far has really caught us off-guard. That said, a number of you are praying for us, and so I'll offer up some understanding of our challenges to date in the next post (he says, aiming to avoid novella-status for this one.) I'll also post some of the "wins" of the past few weeks, as well as an update from the physician. Oh, and if you ask nicely, I may get some more pictures up on Monday. The employer gave us MLK day off this year, so I'll have some time to catch up!
Thanks for your concern, prayers and support!
God bless,
Ron