So the last year...

I'd say it's hard to believe it's been nigh on a year since my last post here, but I know me too well.

Galyna's tale hasn't ended, though, so I'd best be about the business of providing some updates.

Health:
This is as good a starting point as any. Galyna's second round of tissue expansion went exceedingly well. Her discomfort with the procedure was lower than it had been the first time through. She enjoyed being spoiled by the good folks at Shriner's once again. (I think she daydreams about further surgery so she can have ice cream for breakfast, do sand art projects with the nurses, and watch whatever tv shows she wants). Her hair coverage in the back is now about 70% or so, depending on what you consider as the baseline. Per the surgeon, there may be one more round to address a couple of spots on the front of her head, but we may be at the end of what we can do with the back; her skin can only stretch so much. That said, the difference between when we brought her home and today is amazing. With more hair, too, comes more confidence - which was a primary goal. We'll see what the surgeon says at our next appointment, sometime in the next week.

(For those of you who are of the praying ilk, this is also a potential challenge. We're not sure what this would mean for us, and wherever God leads is obviously fine by us; He has already blessed us more than we in particular deserve considering how many others need a lot more than we do. But our parents' heart is that if we can remove any barriers to her happiness, even if not yet encountered as hardships, we want to do what we can.)

School:
Ah, la escuela. She continues to make progress, and while still slightly behind grade level she is still closing the gap. There have been a few hiccups as she's started pushing boundaries a little bit - while also dealing with some fallout from her background. Galyna has a tendency to "study for the test" in most subjects, learning enough to get through the test, and then forgetting the information, or (in reading) getting through the pronunciation without paying attention to vocabulary or comprehension. These things will come as we instill within her the value of education, although this is proving to be a mildly unexpected difficulty. Those struggles aside, she makes friends easily and follows her teachers.

Family:
This has been an interesting year in terms of our family. Galyna has begun bonding a little more with Tierney, but sibling issues remain. She sees her sisters as competition quite often - quite understandable, considering, but for her sisters it's not something they're fully prepared to handle yet. One of the very few concerns we had when adopting Galyna was that the process would be difficult for her sisters, who were (and are!) very close best friends. It's been difficult for Galya to break through, either annoying Amissa by (as Amissa sees it) "stalking" her due to Galyna's dislike of being alone, or by pushing Tierney's buttons. But I may be making it sound worse than it is. All three girls have grown this past year, and do get along better. Tierney & Amissa have even learned through this a bit more about how to be open with us about what's going on, and about showing grace to someone still learning what it means to be in a family. For her part, Galyna is learning what it means to have sisters instead of other orphans competing for parents.

As far as our relationship with Galyna is concerned, the therapy helped move that along a little bit. She still shows signs of not having full moved through the preschool phase of development, so the play therapy needs to continue. Her progress, though, is noticeable. We don't want to diminish that progress. However, some frustration still exists. She hasn't fully moved past her RAD, and it is especially noticeable with Shannon. She doesn't show affection to Shannon except when asked to, and her trust that she is in a permanent situation isn't there yet. It is...hard, especially since she is showing some signs of softening with me. I ache for Shannon, who still wants Galyna to just hug her, or climb into her lap to snuggle.

Adding to this is the fact that in public Galyna shows few signs of this beyond occasionally being (still) overly affectionate with others (which, also, is difficult for Shannon and me to see; we want to encourage healthy relationships outside the family, of course, but it's not easy seeing the hugs you want being given to others more freely). This "public face" of things is different from our in-home experience, making it hard for some of our friends to understand some of our challenges.

That said - again, she has still been making progress. She had a difficult life, and is still adjusting to a huge life change. We are adjusting to a life change nearly as large. Things are progressing, and there are many more silver linings than clouds. We are really blessed as many things could be oh so much harder or more painful. She's still a sweetheart, still trying - and still growing.

This is getting long - and there's more, but I'll save that for next time.

Thanks for listening:)

God bless,
Ron

June-ish Update

Greetings loyal reader, stopping by once/fortnight to see if I've gotten around to actually posting any updates hereabouts. We have some news related to Galyna, some of it more timely than others.

I'm currently in the midst of an experiment. Take Shannon out of the country (to India, to be precise) for 15 days. Add one mama's girl who has yet to spend a night away from both her adoptive parents. Stir in a daycamp for her sisters and a need to work from home for her father. Observe how she handles the relative alone-ness and quiet of the house.

So far? So good. She's handled it with aplomb, although there has been some help in the form of Grandma and Grandpa O'Malley visiting Sunday through Tuesday of each week so I can get some office time. I think she likes the time alone with us too.

She survived the school year well enough, although she will need summer school. Her focus is more sporadic than that of her sisters, so she still doesn't have her letters down. Her verbal English is far ahead of her written, which doesn't surprise. She also seemed to enjoy being at school - although her dinner conversation usually related about recess and lunch more than the three r's.

Her general behavior has improved as well. Galyna seems to be getting better about understanding "the rules" and is conforming to them better. There are still a few side-effects of her background and delayed development we need to work through, but progress is definitely being made. Early on (as I think I mentioned) it seemed she was working her way up the developmental ladder in two-week increments, pushing new boundaries pretty regularly every 14 days. In the past couple of months, that has leveled off quite a bit. One of the things we were told often was that there was usually a big step forward in stability ~ 6 months in. That seems to be right on track.

We also took her on the first road trip to Chicago so she could meet my Mom's side of the family. She very much enjoyed that, and even got along famously with Grandpa's dog. Galya's not been much of a fan of dogs at all, so that was good progress to see. Overall, her skittishness and propensity to flinch away from movement have decreased. I count this as a growing comfort level.

Oddly enough, another sign that tells me I think she's growing more comfortable with us is that she's started talking about her life in Ukraine more. She speaks of how she misses her friend Katya, how she wants to go back and visit, and how she wants to see pictures. This past weekend, she even started talking about her "mommy and daddy" (really, her guardians since she never knew her birth parents in Ukraine) and how her mommy mistreated her. Even this story had new elements as Galyna spoke of being put in very hot water, then being put with the pigs. I have no idea if this is memory or if this is just her repeating what she heard others say about her story. The hot water is a new element, but it would make sense to this medical layman; her scars never seemed quite consistent with just animal bites to me. But again, I'm no expert.

Either way...still ticks me off to know how she used to be treated. And, we'll likely start her into counseling sooner than originally thought so she can work through these in a more healthful way. I also see some new work in helping her understand the concept of family, and what it means to have a mother and father. She still seems to think that those are the people taking care of her. That too will come with time. Really, though, I look at this as a positive. She feels comfortable enough with us and her stability that she can talk about Ukraine again.

Progress is coming in unpredictable fits and starts, but it is coming. Next big milestone is the July 2nd visit to Shriner's. I'll update for sure then, if not sooner.

Thanks for your patience!

God bless -
Ron

So How've You Been?

Long time no blog, though readers of my normal blog wouldn't be surprised if they've been paying attention over the last year. It's been an interesting and fun, albeit busy week. In review:

Tuesday
I think I left off with Tuesday (aside from the note that we arrived home.) If not, call me on it in the comments and I'll fix the problem. Tuesday did have a bit more detail than I posted then. The day started with doing some packing while waiting for Angelina to call. She did eventually, and picked me up to sign some papers. We went first to the courthouse, where she picked up the court decree. From there to the orphanage, where I had to sign two documents. For two signatures, I'd been gone nearly 90 minutes. Yep, this was going to be fun!

We left Makeevka, and on the way to Donetsk for some more paperwork I called Shannon to let her know that we'd be ready and back to the apartment by 3:00 to go pick up Galya. Angelina wouldn't be with us, but we told the orphanage folks while we were there what the plan was. In Donetsk, we went into a freezing building (side note: in Ukraine, apparently they will choose to do some heating water pipe repair when it's cold out) to get Galya's new birth certificate. This was another long wait, but I did get to do the signature thing so I felt like I was at least contributing. Then we headed off to one last errand - the passport. Unfortunately, the passport office was closed until 2:00 for the lunch break, so we stopped at McDonald's to kill some time and grab a bite to eat.

At two, we were able to get to the passport office, and by 2:30 we had everything the Ukrainian government owed us. Yippee! Angelina dropped me by the bus stop where the girls were going to meet me for the marshutka ride to the orphanage. She was going to go fax the passport page copy to the U.S. embassy so we'd be okay to get a visa interview on Wednesday.

Tuesday, Angelina proved her worth in all of these stops. Conversations in the past few days showed that many adoptive families can wait up to two weeks to get the passport. We got ours the day the court decree became official. It helps when the person you hired knows everyone and everything about the process. If you're ever considering adopting in Ukraine, let me know and I'll get you in touch with her.

So...as I said, it was cold. Even for us Minnesotans it was a bit chilly, and the marshutkas were running very full. There wasn't room for us on the first handful that went by while we waited, so we were all very glad when one came by with space.

And this brings us to the orphanage. I'll bet you're all expecting a big dramatic moment, tear-jerking narrative and emotional broadsides. We were too. It was nothing like that. In the dictionary next to anticlimactic you see a picture of Galya leaving the orphanage. After all these months (years, really) of time since we first heard of Galyna, the moment felt oddly normal. I'm guessing that seeing kids adopted out of the orphanage before made this something rather standard, but it was a surprisingly low-key event.

We went in and Julia, the social worker for whom I'd signed papers earlier in the day, was coincidentally by the door talking to someone else. She pointed up to where Galya was, and we walked up there to get her. She saw us, and apparently knew what we were there to do as she stopped her studies (yeah, we picked her up mid-school day) and grabbed the entirety of her earthly possesions: five little notebooks worth all of about $.30 that we'd picked up for her on the various Amstor stops. Not even a toothbrush. We brought some clothes with us, but she did walk out with a t-shirt and some tights that she was wearing that day.

I've never felt so unbelievably blessed and humbled to live in this country, by the way.

She said goodbye to her class, and a couple of the kids gave her hugs. Some of the teachers too, but it was "business as usual" for most of them. They all said goodbye and went back to their tasks. Two of the girls did seem excited that she was going to "America!" which I'd think is a big deal considering what we suspect they think about our country - that we're wealthy and far away from problems. One of two isn't bad. I for one will never complain about being poor compared to anyone here. Being firmly middle class in this country is being in the wealthiest population on the planet.

So we left, after a few hugs and two classrooms saying goodbyes, but it was the oddest departure I've known. There's been more emotion and hubub when someone leaves the place I work. But we walked back to the marshutka for the ride home. Galya was absolutely giddy, and happy. This was a good sign. We were able to get to the apartment in time for me to get the blog post out, and finish dinner before heading to the train station. We caught the train, Angelina and Shannon in one compartment, the girls and I in the other. The girls slept better on this train trip than on the first, but we still awoke in Kiev tired and unwashed. The train was about 80 degrees all night, which was okay, but a bit warmish for what we're used to. The highlight for the girls, I think, was eating some dried octopus snack thing that Angelina ordered from the attendant.

Wednesday
This post is overly long already, but I'll give Wednesday a go. Maybe I'll catch up the rest of the week tomorrow:)

We went from the train station to an international clinic which provides medical exams for children being adopted. Their report is part of the package of papers we needed to bring to the embassy in the hopes of getting the visa. We were there early, as the clinic didn't open until 9:00 and we'd come right from the train at 7:30. The girls hung out and colored in the hallway, and us adults tried to stay awake. The exam went well, and the doctor was about crying when she thanked Shannon for "adopting this little girl." Seems hard for many Ukrainians to understand the motive to help someone in this type of circumstance.

We went from the clinic to the embassy to drop off our last documents, and to confirm the visa appointment. As we'd sent ahead the documentation necessary to do the background check with Washington D.C., we were hoping that we could get the visa Wednesday. Even so, we weren't sure as nothing on the trip was really easy to predict. The visa interview was at 2:00, and we dropped off the paperwork by about 11:00, so we went to a little cafe to have lunch. It's interesting finding out about Galya's eating habits. She won't starve in our house, but she won't necessarily enjoy all our meals. We have yet to find a non-potato vegetable that she likes, and we eat lots of veggies. Let's hope she grows to love broccoli.

The visa interview was quick, and best of all they said they'd gotten the paperwork in time to do the background check - we got the visa the same day! This happens often, we gathered, but it isn't guaranteed. We were very glad to have our tax dollars going to something that the government does well!

This meant, too, that we were finally ready to hit the apartment. We were put up at the same building as the first visit in Kiev, and we went to the same restaurant for dinner as we'd done the first visit too. The girls all got the mashed taters/chicken dinner with the chicken dressed up with vegetables to look like a real chicken. Tierney took a picture, which I'll post in my next photo update. This went over well with Galya, except for (a) the vegetables, and (b) me not letting her drink all her pop until she'd finished her meal. Other than that, it was peachy. An early bedtime for the girls, and repacking for the plane for me, and it was off to the land of nod.

We awoke Thursday, but that's enough for this post.

TTFN,

Ron

Tomorrow's the Day!

Welcome to Galya's Tale, the blog where we're recording our story of adoption. Over the next few weeks, we will update as often as we can to keep y'all updated on our adventure in Ukraine. We'll also share with you the story of how we first heard about, and how I had the pleasure of meeting, a little girl named Galyna. Galya, as she's nicknamed, has stolen our hearts.

So feel free to come back as often as you'd like.

In the meantime, we're leaving tomorrow, flying from Minneapolis to New York to Kiev. There is much to do yet, as you can imagine, and so I'm off to continue preparations for the trip.

Until next time -

Ron